


Something About Us

by KNACC



Series: Something About Us Verse [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Dammit Genji, Friends to Lovers, Genji and Zenyatta are very married they just don't know it, Genji finally starts figuring his shit out, Genji has no chill but I can't really blame him, Genji is having a hard time but Zenyatta is having a very different but still unfortunate time, Genji is oblivious, Genji jumps to entirely the wrong conclusion, Genji won't stay off the roofs, Graphic Violence is only present in a nightmare sequence that can be skipped just fyi, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Rating will change as it becomes relevant, Slow Burn, Sparring, feelings with porn, mild body dysphoria, more talking and feelings than sex because that is how I roll, so much consent like wow, the pining will continue until morale improves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:18:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8114317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KNACC/pseuds/KNACC
Summary: Genji loves the life he has but when he gets recalled back to Overwatch and decides to bring his long time teacher and friend Zenyatta with him, he starts to notice that there's maybe something more going on between them than he's ever realized before.





	1. Recall

Genji's mostly just killing time, climbing buildings and running his body through it's paces when he hears someone scream for help a few blocks over.  In an instant, he's heading that direction, running over roofs and dashing across alleys until he finds a distressed, shouting man kneeling on the sidewalk below him.  He takes a deep breath and then jumps off the roof, steeling himself for the man's reaction as he walks up to him.  They're in San Francisco at the moment and Genji's wearing a hoodie and pants in an attempt to not stand out as much but neither of those things could end up meaning anything as people are unpredictable.

"Excuse me, sir," Genji says, voice as non-threatening as possible, "Can I be of service?"

The man wipes his eyes and blinking, looks up a Genji.  Even now, after all these years, moments like this are some of his least favorites.  Genji holds his breath.

"Uhhh, I don't know?" the man shakes his head, obviously confused but luckily not afraid. "Some guy just stole my backpack and it has my computer and my papers on there-"

"What color is your bag?" Genji cuts him off, worried that if too much time passes, it will be much more difficult for him to find the thief.

The man blinks up at him again.  "Oh it's a black messenger bag but it has a lot of buttons on it? Like cartoon characters and omnic rights stuff-"

Genji nearly chuckles at that but instead he asks, "Which way did he go?"

"Straight up this street-"

"Thank you, " Genji says, his feet already pounding the pavement as he heads after the thief.

"Wait, are you serious? You're going to get hurt!" the guy shouts after him. 

Genji jumps and starts to make his way up to the roof to get a better vantage point.  Once he gets up there, he waves back at the guy and shouts, "Do not worry about it.  I'll be right back," before dashing away in search of his quarry.

He finds the guy a few minutes later, walking casually down the lane like he doesn't have a care in the world.  It means he blends in better but it also means Genji didn't have to put in very much work to find him which is only a little disappointing.  He considers just jumping down and landing on the guy but remembers that there's a computer in the bag and that he wasn't intending on using lethal force so instead he slips down into the nearest alley and waits for the guy to walk by, the beginnings of a plan brewing.  Non-lethal forces means no shuriken or swords but it also means he'll have to be careful even grappling the guy.  Genji lets out a deep breath and finds his center.   _ I am in control of my body.  We are one. _  He listens as the guy's footsteps get closer, his muscles tense and ready to strike.  A moment later, he's pouncing on the guy when out of nowhere his HUD chirps and blinks to inform him that he just got a message.  He pushes the notification aside, all of his attention focused on subduing the thief gently.  A vague scuffle later, Genji is on top of him, his forearm across his throat.

"That bag is not yours, please return it peaceful," Genji says, looking down at the man.

The guy squirms and Genji feels something hard being held up to his stomach through his hoodie. "Not a chance omnic.  If you don't get off me now, I'll cut one of the lines to your leg and leave you here for dead."

Genji chuckles despite himself.   _ If he wants to play rough _ , he thinks, shifting the shuriken he has sheathed in his arm so that they're sticking menacingly out of his hand.  

The man gasps as he glances down and sees what is dangerously near his throat now.

"Let us try this again," Genji says, "You hand over the bag and I will turn you over to the police."

"Fine," the guys shouts, taking the knife away from Genji's gut and throwing it to the side.  "I didn't know you were one of those combat omnics geez..."

Genji doesn't say anything, just takes the bag from the guy before grabbing his arm and bending down a prong of a nearby tree cage around his wrist so he'll have to stay put.  He gets off the guy and watches as he struggles against the metal.

"How strong are you?" he says looking from his wrist to Genji and back.

Genji doesn't answer him, just says, "Thank you for your cooperation," and then climbs the nearest building.  Once he's done calling the cops, he finally checks to see what the message he received earlier was about.  He opens it, and his eyes fly wide because in spite of the sender being encrypted, the moment he sees the short message he knows exactly who sent it and why.  A recall notice from Overwatch after all these years?  Genji stops dead in his tracks, his mind reeling for a moment but he shakes his head and pushes onwards; there's no reason to make the guy worry when he can think along the way.  Genji points himself in the right direction and starts to travel on autopilot, the majority of his brain dedicated to working this out.  

On some level, despite how crazy it is and how happy he is with his current life, he's excited to get this message from Overwatch.  No matter how much he enjoys traveling with Zenyatta, helping him with his volunteering and playing the hero like he did today, Genji feels like none of those things are really using his skills to their fullest potential.  Ever since they'd left the monastery and he'd gotten his life in order, he's been looking for a purpose, some new direction for his life to go in and Overwatch could be just that.  A new purpose and a second chance to work with a team that he didn't treat the best the first time around; sounds almost perfect.   

The only problem is he can't, no won't leave Zenyatta behind and he's not sure if his master will agree to come with him.  He knows that some day, Zenyatta will have run out of things to teach him and that they'll both need to go their separate ways.  It's logical and inevitable but still… thinking about it makes him feel like his non-existent stomach's dropping out.  Zenyatta's more than a teacher, he's his closest and best friend and what with Mondatta's recent assassination, now seems like a horrible time to leave him alone.  

He's busy wondering if Zenyatta would enjoy Overwatch and what sort of jobs they might assign him if he joins when Genji realizes he's gone a block past the poor waiting student in his preoccupation.  He decides to put his thoughts away from the moment and focus on getting the guy back his bag. A few moments later, he's standing before the now stunned looking guy, bag held out towards him.

The man blinks and then bursts into action, yanking the bag back and pawing through it before looking back at Genji with a huge smile on his face.   "You found it!  Oh my god, I owe you my life.  My term paper's on there-"

"It was no problem.  I am just glad I could help," Genji smiles to himself.  Doing the right thing is it's own reward of course but seeing the pleased reactions of those you've helped is always a nice bonus.

"No seriously, you saved my life.  I'd love to pay you back," he pauses, looks Genji up and down and then bites his bottom lip.  "We could go out for cof- wait no, you can't drink coffee, can you?  Sorry that was insensitive of me-"

Genji cocks his head at the man.   _ Is he trying to ask me out on a date? _  Ten years ago, he'd definitely be working this situation, hoping to get laid but it's been a long time since such things interested him.  Time to let him down easy.  He holds up a hand and shakes his head.  "You have done nothing wrong, do not worry."  The guy lets out a huge sigh for relief but then Genji continues, "I'm afraid I will not be able to join you for coffee though as I already have plans."

The guy's face falls for a second but then perks up, "I could just give you my number so we could-"

Genji cuts him off and shakes his head again.  "Sorry, I am only visiting the area and will be leaving soon.  I appreciate the offer though."

The guy sighs. "Right, sorry."

"Do not apologize.  I'm sorry our paths crossed only under such unpleasant of circumstances and I wish you well."  Genji puts his hands together and bows his head before turning on his heels and climbing the nearest building, leaving a stunned and slightly disappointed guy alone on the street.  At least he won't have to rewrite his term paper.  Genji sighs and checks his HUD, realizing with a smile that Zenyatta's last appointment for the day should be done soon.  With a new sense of excitement curling in his guts, he heads towards their hotel, eager to talk to Zenyatta about his plans. 

*** 

A few minutes later, he's made it back to their hotel and is considering waiting on the roof but quickly decides he'll just slide down to their window and check;  no point in sitting around by himself if Zenyatta's already free.  He glances in the window and sees Zenyatta calmly floating a few feet off the ground, still and serene like a statue.   _ He must be meditating already _ , Genji thinks, a warm sensation growing in his chest.  He almost doesn't want to bother him, he looks so peaceful but he also knows Zenyatta wouldn't want him to keep such important news waiting so he opens the window and slips in.  

"You must be Genji," a woman's voice says from the other side of the room.  "Zenyatta speaks very highly of you."

Genji blinks and turns to look at the far side of the room only to find Zenyatta's guest still sitting in a chair right across from him.  Genji snaps around to face her and bows.  "Excuse my interruption, I did not mean to intrude."

The woman just shakes her head.  "You're fine dear," the woman says, standing up and laughing slightly. She turns to look at Zenyatta and adds, "I can see why you like him."

Genji can feel as a combination of shame and embarrassment starts to make him blush.  He's about to apologize again when Zenyatta starts to speak.

"Do not worry yourself, Genji," he turns to look at him, a smile obvious in his voice, "Your timing was almost perfect as Mary is just leaving."  He floats over to Mary and cups her hands gently in his. "I know you have all the strength you need to make it through this difficult time but do contact me if you need someone to talk to."

She smiles and nods.  "Thank you.  Do you think I might be able to see you again before you leave San Francisco?" 

Zenyatta glances back at Genji and tilts his head.  "I will have to get back to you on that.  I have a feeling my student has something very important to tell me and it may affect my plans."

Mary nods and then, taking back her hands, bows to Zenyatta and then Genji before slipping out of the hotel room.

The moment the door closes, Genji start talking.  "Sensei, I'm so sorr-

"It is fine, Genji," Zenyatta says, floating back over to him.  "I believe Mary was rather pleased to have met you and as I already said, she was just about to leave anyway."

Genji can feel his cheeks still burning under the visor but he tries to take Zenyatta's words to heart and calm himself.  He takes in a deep breath and sighs.  "If you are certain-

"I am," Zenyatta nods his head decisively.  He raises a hand and gestures at the open space in front of him.  "Please sit down and when you're ready, we can talk about whatever has made you so excited."

Genji nods and drops down to sit cross-legged on the floor.  Zenyatta follows suit, lowering himself with a graceful ease across from him.  They sit in silence for a moment as Genji tries to gather himself, his eyes taking in the familiar metal face and noting that as usual, he finds it very calming.

Genji takes one last deep breath, feeling the lingering embarrassment wash out of him and then says, "Today as I was out doing my patrol as usual, I received a message from Overwatch." 

Zenyatta's head perks up.  "Overwatch?  After all these years and the Petrus Act?  What did they want from you?"

"It was a recall notice sent over an old encrypted Overwatch frequency asking any living agents available to return to Watchpoint: Gibraltar."  Genji pauses, considering his next words careful.  "I believe it would be in my best interests to answer their call." 

Zenyatta's shoulders fall and he looks down at his lap for a second before leveling his gaze back at Genji.  "I think you are correct," he says, tone forcefully cheerful.  "You are in a much better place than the last time you worked for them and they are sure to put your abundant skills to good use helping people in ways you never could if you stayed on this path."  He pauses and sits up straighter.  "When do you think you will be leaving?"

Genji has been nodding along, pleased that Zenyatta seems to think he's made a good choice when the last thing he's said hits him and his eyes fly wide.  "I'm- no Sensei, you misunderstand.  I have no intention of leaving you." Zenyatta leans back, his orbs gentle rotation screeching to a halt in shock so Genji continues, "I was hoping that instead you would consider joining me… as a member of Overwatch."

Zenyatta shifts his head around as he struggles to figure out what to say, the beginnings of many incomplete thoughts slipping from his voicebox as he does.  He finally settles for, "Was I invited as well and you didn't tell me?"

Genji shakes his head.  "No, the message was a prerecorded signal.  No additional information was included."

"Than why do you think I would be welcome to join as well?"

Genji bows his head, thinking for a moment.  "To be totally honest, I believe Overwatch could use all the help it can get. Times are hard and things are getting worse."  Genji looks up at Zenyatta and smiles. "Also, you are a strong ally both in a fight and out of one, a talented healer and a good listener.  Overwatch could have used someone like you last time I worked for them."

"Genji," Zenyatta says, bringing a hand up to his own chest as if to clutch his heart, "You are so kind to me.  I do not know what to say-"

"Say yes," Genji says, leaning forward, one hand braced on the ground between them. "Say you will join Overwatch with me."

Zenyatta just looks at him, his head slightly tilted, his hand still on his chest.

"I do know that it is not your preferred type of work.  As a free civilian, you can touch people's lives in a… gentler way than any of the work you'll get through Overwatch-"

"No, but you are also right that things are getting worse.  Much worse and quickly.  This way perhaps I can help stop the slide."  Zenyatta crosses his hands in his lap and looks at them. A moment later, he looks up at Genji and says, "Many of the members of Overwatch are veterans of the Omnic War, are they not?  Do you really think that they would welcome one such as myself?"

Genji slams his open palm on to the floor.  "If you are not welcome than I will not join, it is that simple.  I will not work with bigots."

"Genji," Zenyatta says, reaching out to set his hand on top of his, "My question was one simply of practically.  Of course we must not accept bigots but at the same time, how can I work with those who prejudices keep them from trusting me?"

Genji feels the cool weight of Zenyatta's hand on his start to ground him.  He takes a deep breath.  "You are right but I do not think it will be as big a problem as you fear.  Many of the older guard are unlikely to heed the call for a variety of reasons and from my vague memories of  them, most of those at Overwatch were kind, good people."  Genji looks up and meets Zenyatta's visual sensors.  "We can contact them to assure you will be welcome before we finalize our plans if it will make you feel better… that is, if you want come with me at all."

Zenyatta shakes his head and squeezes Genji's hand.  "Of course I want to come with you. I can think of no one I'd rather work alongside than my favorite student."

"Well in that case," he say, smiling big as a gentle, warm feeling fills his cybernetic heart, "we should probably begin planning."


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji and Zenyatta arrive at Watchpoint: Gibraltar and Genji’s past comes to the forefront sooner than expected.

It's incredibly difficult to get two synthetic bodied people from San Francisco to Seattle let alone to a tiny island half the world away.  Genji and Zenyatta have a lot of experience traveling but they still end up spending two days planning and calling around, trying to make reservations or find anyway or anything at all that will allow the two of them to travel such a great distance.  The final plan involves two buses, a train and a cargo plane whose pilot is one of the many contacts on Zenyatta's phone and who greets him fondly with a backbreaking hug when she sees them.  By the time they're finally being unloaded at a shipping yard in Ceuta on the northern coast of Morocco two days of traveling later, Genji mostly wants to sleep for the next few days or maybe weeks, he hasn't decided yet.

Unfortunately for him, their trip is not quite over yet.  Genji scans the area, looking for their final contact, an Overwatch pilot Genji barely knows, both his and Zenyatta's meager luggage tossed over his shoulder.

"I am perfectly capable of carrying my own bag," Zenyatta says for the second time, tone betraying just how worn out he also is.

Genji doesn't stop looking around, he just say, "I know you are but, and I mean no disrespect when I say this, I am physically stronger than you and we are both worn out so the duty of carrying things should fall to me"

Zenyatta tsks.  "I disagree.  The logical solution since we are both tired is that we each carry our own bag.  No need for you to put any extra strain on yourself."  

Genji hears him reach for his bag and so he shifts it to his other shoulder and out of Zenyatta's reach.  He considers for a moment breaking down and just asking Zenyatta to please allow him to take care of him for once in their relationship instead of the other way around but he doesn't.  Instead, he changes the subject.  "Do you see a small, brown haired woman anywhere?  Winston said she would be here-"

"Looking for me, love?" a cheery english voice says quietly from close behind them.  Genji goes to turn around and she adds, "No no don't look at me, you'll give the whole game away.  Guess two blokes like you haven't done much in the way of the whole cloak-and-dagger spy stuff though... mostly just dagger... into stuff in your case, right Genji?" Genji opens his mouth to answer and she keeps talking,  "Anyway, I'm here to give you directions to the plane so we can meet up there in about… five minutes?  The reasons you'll need the directions is because this place is a bit of a maze and I have the plane cloaked at the moment which basically means it's... pretty hard to find honestly." Genji sighs.   _ Oh, this will be fun. _  A minute of her listing off storage crate colors and turns later, the woman says, "Got that?" as if she hasn't just giving them the most circuitous directions on the planet.

Genji looks at Zenyatta and then they both nod.  "I believe we have it," Zenyatta says.

"Great, see you soon," she says and with a flash, she's gone.

"She seems… charming," Zenyatta says, starting to head the right direction, "very energetic."

Genji shifts the bags on his shoulders as he keeps pace with Zenyatta.  "Today is the first time I have ever met her in person," he says, taking the first turn of fifteen, "We did not work in the same department in the past."

"I see." He pauses then says, "If you would like to go ahead of me so that you can set our bags down sooner, I would not blame you.  I am certain I have the route properly memorized and can find it on my own."

Genji shakes his head.  "I would rather we not split up even if there is only a small possibility that any of this subterfuge is necessary."  Genji looks down at the top of Zenyatta's head as they take the third turn.  "Are you still upset about me taking your bag?"

Zenyatta's shifts his shoulders and shakes his head.  "I am not... upset but you must admit that you are often quite stubborn with little reason to be so."

" _ I _ am the stubborn one," Genji laughs, "says the man who refused to let me leave the monastery until I agreed to work with him."

Zenyatta huffs as they take another turn.  "It was for the best."

"It was but-"

"Yes, I see your point," he sighs.

"And I am not being stubborn with no reason or however you said it," Genji says, voice quieter now.  "It is just that you are so often looking after me, can I not try and do the same for you from time to time?"

It takes Genji a moment to realize that Zenyatta has stopped moving.  He turns back to look at him.

Zenyatta looks down at his hands and then back at Genji.  "You are not playing fair."

"I am not playing," Genji shakes his head, "I mean every word."

Zenyatta sighs. "I know you do." He pauses and then catches up with Genji.  "I only worry that you will forget to care for yourself in your attempts to take care of me.  That is all."

Genji looks over at Zenyatta and then sets his free hand on his shoulder.  "You do not need to worry so much, sensei.  It has been a long time since I was so self destructive.  That is thanks to you."

"Genji," Zenyatta says, a smile obvious in his tone as he gently sets his hand on top of Genji's.  "You give yourself too little credit, my student."

Genji laughs.  "Perhaps."

Zenyatta is staring at Genji, head tilted when suddenly he takes his hand back and shakes his head before increasing his speed greatly.  "Though I doubt she would leave without us," he says over his shoulder, "we should probably increase our speed so as not to make her wait too long.

Genji suddenly realizes that they were barely walking at all there for a bit and starts to feel his cheeks heat up as he takes his hand back off of Zenyatta's shoulder.  "Of course, sensei."

They walk in silence for the last few turns until finally they arrive at a space that as the woman had said, appears to have no plane but is in fact large enough to hold one.  Genji approaches it tentatively and sure enough there is something large and solid in the middle of the lot.  

Suddenly a door in the nothingness flies open and a short, brown-hair woman with a device strapped to her chest is leaning back from the pilot's seat, looking chipper as ever.  "Come on, climb inside and we can get to the real introductions!"

Genji ushers Zenyatta inside before adding their bags and then finally himself.  The door snaps closed beside him with an audible hiss as Genji sits down and straps himself him.

"I'm Lena Oxton, but loads of people call me Tracer," she gestures at her thigh which has the word spelled on it like some sort of brand logo.  "You both strapped in back there?"

"Yes," Genji says as he looks over at Zenyatta just as Zenyatta says, "Indeed," and looks at him.

"Great!" she says, flipping a few knob and pushing a few buttons. "Let's get you blokes to your new home."  

A moment later, the plane starts to roll forward.  Genji feels where his stomach used to be lurch because while there  _ is _ enough room for a plane to sit in between these shipping crates, there's definitely not enough room for one to take off and they are currently closing in on the nearest crate at an alarming speed.  Tracer doesn't seem to be worried about this at all, she just keeps checking dials and adjusting things so Genji reaches out and taps her on the shoulder.  

"Is that a problem?" he says, pointing at the now very near crate.

Tracer looks from his extended finger to the crate and just laughs.  "Not at all, love," she grins, "You'll see for yourself in just a tick."

A moment later, right when they should hit the crate, they instead pass through it.  Genji wrinkles his brow as he realizes that they are now on an open runway with tons of room for their take-off.  

"It was a projection," Tracer says, "just like the one that kept the plane hidden.  Brilliant stuff, isn't it?"

Genji is too tired to be interested but Zenyatta leans forward and says in a completely genuine tone, "Fascinating!"

Tracer laughs.  "You must be Zenyatta, right?  When I heard one of the Shambali were going to be joining our merry little band of illegal good-doers, I could barely believe my ears."

Zenyatta chuckles.  "Well, while I do still believe in most of the teachings of the Shambali, I am unsure if they would still consider me one of them since I have been gone from the temple so long."

"Oh," she says, sounding vaguely deflated.  "You must have had a good reason for leaving then."

"I did," Zenyatta nods.  "I could not sit atop a mountain and teach only those who came to us when I could instead leave the monastery and touch many lives while they in turn touched mine.  There is no better way to show someone you are their brother than to truly relate to them, to be there for them and help them when they are down." 

She pulls back on the steering column and they lift gently into the air before she calls over her shoulder, "Ahh so life at the monastery was just too hands off for you then?  You know, in some ways you're just like Mon-oh!" 

Genji cringes, can see out of the corner of his eye that Zenyatta's turning to looks at the ground, his shoulders falling.  Genji wants to help him with this too, like he can carry his bags but he doesn't know what to say, knows that nothing can really mend this hurt but time.  Instead of saying anything, Genji reaches out and sets a hand on Zenyatta's knee.  Zenyatta looks up from the ground to Genji's hand and then sets his own hand on top of it.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring him up. You must miss him terribly," Tracer bumbles, mortification written all over her face.

"I do," Zenyatta says, and then he squeezes Genji's hand.  

There's an awkward silence and then Genji decides to change the subject. "Ms. Oxton, right?  I am Genji Shimada."

Tracer looks relieved for the change of topic.  "Please call my Lena or Tracer and I know who you are silly," she shakes her head, a slight chuckle to her voice.  "You worked for Blackwatch, right?  I've always been kinda sad we'd never met before.  You seem like great guy."

Genji laughs.  "I do not believe you would have felt the same if you met me back then."  He pauses, considering his words, "I worked for Overwatch during a… difficult time in my life but I am doing much better now, thanks mostly to the man sitting right beside me."  He squeeze Zenyatta's knee.

Zenyatta shakes his head, "Do not listen to him.  I merely was a friend and a willing listener when he most needed one.  It is he who did all the work."

Tracer looks over her shoulder at Genji and then Zenyatta and smiles.  "Well good on you for getting you life turned around, Genji," she says, turning back to her controls.  

"Thank you," he bows his head.

***

Ten minutes later, after they finally arrive at Watchpoint: Gibraltar, Tracer takes them to see Winston.  He's sitting on a tire in front of a bank of computers, an expression of deep thought on his face. 

"Winston!" she calls the second they enter the room, "How are you holding up?"

Winston glances away from his monitors and towards Lena, his face wrinkling up in confusion.  "You've only been gone two hours, Lena.  What could have gone wrong in that time?" he says, turning back to scowl at one of his monitors.

"Don't know," she smiles, hands on her hips as they walk closer, "maybe we should ask that worried expression of yours?" 

"Ahh," Winston says, his brow noticeable unfurrowing.  "Sorry, it's just that… I'm starting to realize just how much micromanaging running this team is going to take.  Doubly so because we're trying not to draw attention to ourselves right away."  He pauses and looks at one of his monitors.  "Do you know how much food a ten person team goes through in a week?"

"Conveniently for you, neither Genji nor I require food," Zenyatta says from his spot floating gracefully beside Tracer, a slight chuckle to his voice.

Winston starts and then climbs off his tire and turns around to face the three of them, his eyes wide.  "Oh hello!" he says, expresion sheepish. "I uh didn't notice you both there as well." 

"Do not worry, my friend," Zenyatta laughs, "it seems you are quite overwhelmed with new responsibilities at the moment.  You are a scientist, not an administrator after all."

"Exactly," Winston laughs, "You must be the omnic monk Genji vouched for, Zendata was it?"

"Zenyatta Tekhartha," he puts his hands together and bows his head. 

"Zenyatta," Winston repeats as if trying to commit it to memory.  "Thank you for coming."

Zenyatta bows his head again.

"And Genji," Winston says, turning to look at him, his eyes taking him in, "You look... good."

Genji nods, trying to not let the unstated ' _ better than when you left' _ get to him.  "I am doing well, yes."

"Good," Winston says, nodding back.  "To be honest, when I issued the recall, I didn't know if I should be expecting you back or not.  I'd seen a few articles with pictures of you two volunteering, helping the homeless, stuff like that so I knew you were alright and alive but after how Overwatch treated you last time-"

"What?" Tracer squawks, eyes flung wide, "What did Overwatch do to him last time?"

Winston's face falls.  "Oh sorry, I shouldn't have said that in front of her."

Genji turns to Winston and shakes his head, sighing.  "It is alright, I will just explain it to her." He turns to Tracer and says, "Do you remember how I said I worked for Overwatch during a difficult time in my life?"

Tracer nods, "Of course, that was like twenty minutes ago."

Genji nods.  "Alright well at the time I joined Overwatch, I'd just experienced a great trauma and so I was depressed but mostly I was angry.  Angry about this new body," he gestures to himself, "and angry at my clan and in particular my brother.  Blackwatch took my anger and they used it, turned me against the whole Shimada Clan like I was a battering ram.  To them, I was an asset, the fact that I was not mentally sound enough to work did not matter to them because I still completed every mission.  That is what Winston is speaking of."

Tracer looks horrified, her eyes wide and her mouth open.  "Bloody hell," she stammers out a moment later, "I'd heard that Blackwatch did anything to get the job done but still."  She pauses and shakes her head.  "I'm so sorry, Genji," she says and throws her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.  

Genji freezes for a moment, unsure of what to do but then sees Zenyatta gesturing at him over Tracer's shoulder and he remembers that he should hug her back.  He wraps his arms tentatively around her and pats her gently.  "Thank you but as I said earlier I'm doing much better now." 

Tracer scoffs and pulls him closer.  "Alright, but are you really sure you want to be here?  I can't imagine anyone would blame you for not coming back if they knew-"

"I am sure," Genji says, carefully trying to peel Tracer off him.  

She notices his efforts and takes a step back, smiling sheepishly.  

He nods and then continues.  "I, like you, believe that Overwatch can be a force for good, that it has been in the past and that it will be again… that in spite of past failings, we can try and do it better this time. That is what I believe and why I am here now."  Genji glances at Zenyatta and sees that he's staring at him around Tracer.  He nods at him and Zenyatta nods back.

"Oh," Winston says, "speaking of doing better this time, I have something for you, Genji."  He holds out a piece of paper with a code on it.  "This should give you access to all the information Overwatch has gathered that's related to you: the Shimada Clan, Dr. Ziegler's notes, mission logs from your time with Blackwatch etc."

Genji takes the piece of paper tentatively, a weird feeling curling in his guts.  "Thank you, Winston, this means a lot to me."

"It's the least I could do to be honest.  The thing is… you're not just an asset or... an experiment," he glances down for a beat before pushing on, "You're part of the team, an equal so I thought we should make sure we really treated you like one this time around."

Genji's fingers tighten around the piece of paper like this new, precious thing will slip through his grasp if he's not careful. "Thank you."

***

Genji's still holding the piece of paper in his balled up hand fifteen minutes later as he escorts himself and Zenyatta to their newly assigned rooms.  A tiny part of him is thinking how strange it will be to stay in separate rooms after all these years of traveling together but most of him is dreading the very specific room he was assigned.  They reach the two rooms, one across from the other and Genji stares at his door, a sinking feeling in his guts.  He wasn't stationed at Watchpoint: Gibraltar all that often but when he was, this was his room.  Genji remembers taking mission after mission, pushing himself until he'd collapse here, in this tiny coffin of a room, trying to sleep, to get any sort of rest at all and failing.

Zenyatta sets a hand on his shoulder, startling him back to the present.  "Genji, are you alright?  Do you want to talk about something?"

Genji turns around to face him, mourning the lose of his touch but wanting to look at Zenyatta as they speak.  "This place just brings back many old memories," he says, his eyes taking in Zenyatta's face. "It is nothing I did not expect and it's nothing we haven't discussed many times over."

"You know yourself best," Zenyatta nods and then looks at Genji's clenched fist.  "Do you think you will be utilizing your newfound access to those files tonight?"

Genji's eyes widen slightly but he really shouldn't be surprised; Zenyatta has always been very good at reading him.  "I had considered it but I think it will have to wait until I've rested.  Such an extended trip really did end up taking a greater toll on me than I had expected."

Zenyatta nods again, his own shoulders sagging with obvious weariness.  "A sound choice.  Though I too intend to mediate and run a refresh cycle, know that if you need me, I am right here across the hall so do not hesitate to contact me."

"I won't," Genji nods, wishing for just a moment that he could offer the same kindness back to Zenyatta but knowing that the only person who ever knows the details of the rare disquiet of Zenyatta's mind is himself.  Even if he was willing to open up about such things, it is not as if Genji could offer any wisdom that Zenyatta had not originally taught him in the first place.  "Good night, sensei," he says, bowing his head and turning to go.

"Wait," Zenyatta says and Genji eagerly turns around, a part of him still dreading entering his old room.  "While I can meditate without it, I'd prefer it if you would return my bag to me please."

Genji feels a rush of embarrassment.  How could he have forgotten that he was still holding Zenyatta's bag and with it his orbs?  He shifts the hand holding their bags from resting on his shoulder to holding both bags out to Zenyatta, a mild blush spreading over his face.  "I am so sorry, sensei."

Zenyatta tilts his head at Genji.  "Please do not worry over such an honest mistake," he says, tone gentle.  "I myself am so worn out I too almost forgot about my bag until I sensed the absence of my orbs."  He reaches out and grabs the handle of his bag from Genji's open hand before shifting it to his lap. The moment the transfer is complete, Zenyatta sinks slightly closer to the ground and starts to chuckle.  "My, how you did not find carrying my belongings all this time burdensome is beyond me."

Genji considers several answers and settles for a factually true one.  "Now you are the one who is worrying needlessly.  I was made to be strong so I barely noticed their additional weight at all."

Zenyatta pauses, his optical sensors meeting about where Genji's eyes are and surveying him for a moment.  He reaches out and sets his fingers on Genji's still open hand.  "I know that the nature of your existence still troubles you from time to time and that it was all the more likely to do so here amidst all these relics of your past but you should also know that your true, greatest strength come from who you are, Genji.  You are truly the strongest person I know."

Genji freezes, feeling his cheeks heat up even more than before.  It's not even close to the first time he's said something like this and Genji knows he really means them but they still make him painfully embarrassed every time. He waves the hand still holding the slip of paper back and forth as if to bat the comments away.  "It was just a slip of the tongue because I am tired, nothing more so do not worry yourself.  It is just all the more proof that I should be getting to bed."

Zenyatta takes his hand back and nods.  "Very well.  Sleep well, Genji."  He turns his back to go into his room and Genji feels a pull in his guts, as if he should do something or something is amiss.  

"Zenyatta," Genji says, the name coming out in a rush, "Thank you." Zenyatta turns back to look at him and he adds, "Your high praise means the world to me."

"You are worthy of every word of it," Zenyatta says and then gently floats into his room and closes the door.

A moment later, Genji is alone in the hall but the empty feeling in his guts is still there.  He sighs and shifts his bag to the hand holding the piece of paper.  Then, taking a deep breath, he grabs the handle and opens the door.  The room is stale and slightly dusty but there is a clean set of bedding on the desk near the door so that at least is something.  He throws down his bag and makes the bed before taking off his visor, climbing onto the familiar stiff mattress and going to sleep.

Well, trying to go to sleep would be more accurate because despite the exhaustion that's been clinging to him like cobwebs all day, the moment his back hits the mattress, he finds himself feeling oddly awake.  He stares at the ceiling, his mind spinning with random thoughts, his auditory inputs suddenly picking up on every creak and whirr of the Watchpoint like they're as loud as jackhammers.  He brings his focus inwards, trying to find his center and some semblance of peace until minutes or hours of trying later (he can't tell which), he finally drifts off.  It's not a restful sleep though and after he wakes up gasping like he's surfacing from a deep dive a few times, he decides that maybe a full night's sleep is just not in the cards for him tonight.

He climbs out of bed and sitting down, turns on the computer that came with the desk.  It's a bit of an older model by this point but Genji doesn't care as long as it will let him access the files he needs.  He goes to the directory, types in Shimada Clan and hits enter.  A moment later, a list of files comes up, some openly available and some that are locked.  Genji clicks on one of the locked ones at random and enters his code once the computer prompts for it.  In an instant, the contents of the file are filling up the screen.  He's just started to read it when a pleasant female voice says quietly, "Genji Shimada, you've just entered your specific access code for the first time on this system. Do you wish to read the report you've selected or do you want to be taken to your directory?"

Genji cocks his head at the computer, unsure if the voice is automated or an actual AI.  He airs on the side of politeness just in case.  "Hello? I am not sure what you mean by directory if I'm being honest so I can not give you a good answer to that question really."

The computer responds immediately.  "The code Winston gave you unlocks all files related to you in the Overwatch Database and in some cases reveals hidden files that no one but the top administrators could have even seen had existed in the past.  While these files all exist in their original locations still and can be searched up like any normal file, Winston and I created a mirror where all relevant files are collected together for your convenience that only you can access. Would you like me to take you there now?"

"Yes, thank you," he says and watches as the computer screen shifts from the report to a long list of files and folders.  He's about to open one, something about the Shimada clan again when something the voice had just said triggers his curiosity. "You helped Winston set this up for me?" 

"I did," she says, "I help Winston with many of his tasks."

Genji nods, his suspicions confirmed.  She must be a personal assistant type AI, possibly one of Winston's own making.  "Do you go by a name or-"

"I am called Athena, Genji Shimada.  Do not hesitate to ask for my help if you need it."

"Thank you for all the help you given me already, Athena.  I appreciate it."

"It was no trouble."

Genji smiles slightly and turns his attention back to the giant list of files.  He sees a folder named "Ziegler/Project Dragon" and knows instantly that he'll be leaving those files for another time.  After a few minutes of digging around, he finds a folder that contains extensive surveillance records of the Shimada Estate.  He opens up one from relatively recently and starts to skim, his brain eager to distract itself from the tumult raging inside.  At least the night will be fruitful in one way if not the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos on the first chapter! Stuff like that is what helps me keep going when I feel stuck! On a vaguely related note, I made a Genyatta fanmix that goes with this story that can be found here on my tumblr or here on 8tracks. And as always, feel free to swing by my [tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com) and chat about Genyatta and their beautiful love! Next chapter will be up in two weeks!


	3. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Genji and Zenyatta start to settle into life on base, Genji's past continues to haunt him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: This chapter has a nightmare in it and I'm going to list the possible triggers in it here in the author's note so that you can avoid it if you want to. If you don't want to be spoiled anymore, you should probably stop reading this author's note. The nightmare itself is only two paragraphs long and the break both before and after have a capital N before the stars so you'll know where to skip. The possible triggers are: Blood, Mild Gore, Robot Gore and Body Horror. If any of you reads it and thinks I missed some triggers, please feel free to tell me so I can add them to the list.

Genji wakes up to find himself face first on the desk, the keyboard shoved awkwardly into his pecs.  He springs to feet, embarrassed that he'd ended up needing to basically pass out from exhaustion to get anything that resembled rest last night.  He shakes his head, trying to jostle the lingering exhaustion from his mind and mostly failing.  Being a cyborg has it's advantages (such as the fact that his awkward sleeping position hadn't pulled his back in the slightest) but even with all this tech, his mostly human brain still requires a good four hours of sleep a night to function well.  He yawns, realizes that he hasn't put his visor back on yet, grabs it and snaps it into place.  He appearance fixed, he double checks that the computer had logged him out of his open access and heads out to find out what Zenyatta is doing.

He checks his room first but he's not there.  Genji smiles at the empty room, amused that though it is the exact twin of his, you can already tell it's Zenyatta's own personal space from the candles and a small collection of personal items placed carefully around the room.  He ducks back out and down the hall, not sure where to check next.  He wanders around, heading back towards the main office until down a side hallway, he sees a pair of push brooms sweeping seemingly on their own.  He decides to go that way and quickly finds Zenyatta in a nearby room, his hands busily dusting while two other brooms sweep at the floor and cobwebs.

"Good Morning, sensei!" Genji says, a warm thrum in his chest at seeing Zenyatta's amusing way of dealing with a mundane chore.

"And to you as well, Genji," Zenyatta says, turning from his task to look at him and tilt his head.  "How was your night's rest?"

"I slept fine," Genji lies, not wanting to worry Zenyatta over such a small thing.  Zenyatta tilts his head back the other way as if he doesn't believe Genji and so he adds, "It's not the most comfortable mattress I've ever slept on but I've slept on worse as well."

Zenyatta nods, placated for the moment.

"And how about you, sensei?  Did you rest well?"

Zenyatta moves from the desk he's dusting to the bedside table near the door.  "My refresh cycle was a success and it was good to be able to meditate again."  He pauses and then looks up from his task and back at Genji.  "Would you like join me later today to meditate together?  I hear that the island is actually quite beautiful in places."

"That would be wonderful," Genji smiles, "But why must we wait?"  Even though he is perhaps far too tired to meditate without falling asleep, the idea of sitting peacefully with Zenyatta, the sea breeze blowing and his orbs chiming quietly sounds just like what he needs right now.

"Because, as you can see, I am quite preoccupied with my task at the moment," Zenyatta says, tone dry.  "Winston asked for my help to try and get this base back up and running so I'm doing some menial chores."  He gives Genji a pointed look.  "Perhaps you may want to offer your assistance to him as well?"

"Of course, sensei," Genji chuckles, "Do not take my eagerness to spend time with you as an unwillingness to help others."

Genji hears the constant background noise of the brooms stop as Zenyatta stares at him.  Genji is just about to ask if everything is alright when Zenyatta says, "Of course."  He glances down at the table he's dusting and the brooms jerkily resume their sweeping. "I will come and seek you out once I have finished my own task."  

Genji nods.  "Was Winston still in the Coms Center when you last saw him?"

"Indeed," Zenyatta glances up at him again, "And up to his eyes in administrative tasks.  That is partially why I offered to help him."

Genji nods, taking one last look at Zenyatta before he turns to go.  "I will see you later," he says over his shoulder and then heads off to find Winston.

***

A half an hour later, after talking to Winston about what he needs help with, Genji is heading out to do the unfortunate task of double-checking their munitions inventory when he runs directly into McCree.  In an instant, Genji is back on his feet and reaching out to offer McCree a hand up without really thinking about it.  McCree just looks at the hand, and then looks up at Genji, a grimace on his face before getting back to his feet on his own.  Genji is just pulling his hand back out of embarrassment when McCree says, "Sorry," and goes to cut around him.

"McCree," Genji says, reaching out to grab his arm without really meaning to, "I was hoping that I could talk to you."

McCree spins around, his hand twitching for his gun before settling at his side, his other arm shaking Genji off easily.  "You never were much of one for talking before."

Genji frowns, but pushes on.  "I know, but that is why I wanted to talk to you now."

McCree sighs and relaxes his stance.  "Well alright kid, say your peace."

Genji bows his head. "Thank you.  I just wanted to apologize for how I treated you back when we were both in Blackwatch.  I was in a bad place at the time but that doesn't excuse how I treated you." Genji bows deeply, "I am truly sorry."  

McCree is silent for a moment and Genji worries that he's just going to leave but then he says, "Hell, it's not like any of us who join Blackwatch come in smelling like roses.  You should have met me back when Reyes dragged my seventeen year old ass out of the gutter.  And stop bowing like that, you're making me uncomfortable."

Genji stands up straight, laughing slightly.  "What were you like back then?"

"Hell on wheels and a crack shot to boot," McCree grins.

Genji laughs, "Are you truly any different now?"

McCree bursts out laughing, "I reckon not… though it seems like you really are."  His laughter dies down a little as he adds, "You know, when I got the recall notice, I didn't know who would be coming back and I sure as hell wasn't looking forward to seeing you but now that we've talked, I'm glad you're back, Genji."

"Thank you, McCree," Genji says, bowing his head slightly.

"Hey," he says holding out his hand as if he wants Genji to shake it, "Call me Jessie, all my friends do."

"Jessie," Genji says, taking his hand and shaking it, "I am glad that you returned as well."

***

Genji and McCree go their separate ways after that; Genji off to do his assigned chore while McCree heads off to ask for clarification about his.  

"Winston said something about getting rid of all the spiders in Cargo Bay D?" He had shrugged.  "Now I looked around for near half an hour and I didn't find a single spider so I must be missing something."

Genji had laughed and wished him luck, glad that at least his chore had a clear objective.  Now it's several hours and hundreds of crates of bullets later and Genji is wishing that he'd been assigned something as small as getting rid of all the spiders in a cargo bay.  He's tired and vaguely bored with his task, can feel his mood turning sour when suddenly Zenyatta shows up to help him and his whole face lights up, bad mood quickly forgotten.  They work together steadily, chatting periodically about small things and before Genji knows it, it's several hours later and his task is completed.  He runs their results back to Winston who is impressed that they were able to get so much work done so quickly and then he's finally free to do what he's wanted to do since this morning: meditate with Zenyatta.

He rushes back to the spot that he and Zenyatta had already agreed upon, his footsteps slowing to a halt as he approaches and finally sees it with his own two eyes.  It's just a little patch of green near the cliffs and right off one of the landing tarmacs but it has a small tree and as the late afternoon sun shines down and glints off of Zenyatta's chassis, Genji is surprised by just how beautiful he finds it.  "Zenyatta," he says, a warm feeling growing in his chest.

Zenyatta turns to greet him, his orbs rotating slow and steady.  "Greetings, Genji!  Is it not as beautiful as I promised?"

Genji looks at Zenyatta and smiles.  "It is." 

They settle into their normal routine quickly after that; Genji sits on the ground with his eyes closed and his thoughts turned inwards while Zenyatta floats nearby, playing a gentle little song on his orbs.  It's not long before Genji feels at peace, feels the weariness he's been carrying around for a few days now start to melt off him to the soothing sounds of the sea beating on the cliffs and Zenyatta's orbs.

"Genji!  Are you alright?" Zenyatta says moments later and Genji snaps awake, his eyes blinking.  He looks to his side and finds Zenyatta next to him on the ground, a hand places gently on one of his shoulders.

Genji shakes his head and straightens his back, embarrassment starting to replace exhaustion in his mind. "I am fine.  I'm... sorry I nodded off there for a bit though.  Perhaps I am more worn out from traveling than I realized."

Zenyatta tilts his head at him, his grip on his shoulder tightening.  "Are you sure there is nothing you need to speak to me about?"

Genji shakes his head, "There is nothing to discuss.  Let us just return to our meditation."

Zenyatta looks him in the eyes and then removes his hand, returning to his position of floating gently beside him.  "Alright, but if you fall asleep again, I will not allow you to persist in dodging my questions any longer."

"I'm not dodging-" Genji starts to say but Zenyatta snaps his face around to look at him and it shuts him up.

Zenyatta lets out a little chuckle and then starts playing his orbs again.  Genji sighs and settles back into his meditative pose. He manages to stay awake for the rest of the session but just barely.

By the time they finish, the sun is setting and Genji is beyond ready to sleep.  He and Zenyatta walk back you their rooms together, Zenyatta recounting his earlier meeting with Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou.  "I told her that I was familiar with the rough principals of her technology as I had read one of her papers on it and she became very excited, going into exorbitant detail on the intricacies of the device.  I did not have the heart to tell her that much of it went over my head but I think I learned quite a bit all the same.  She wants me to stop by her lab tomorrow so that we can discuss our mutual travels."

Genji smiles at Zenyatta.  "It seems as if your worries of not fitting in were mostly unfounded."

Zenyatta laughs, "I believe I have just been lucky enough to encounter the more friendly members so far but perhaps you are right."  They reach their doors and Zenyatta bows his head.  "Good night, Genji."  He pauses and then looks about where Genji's eyes are.  "Remember that I am just across the hall if you have need of me."

"I will," Genji says but doesn't quite mean it, still thinks that he can handle the situation without bringing Zenyatta in to it.  It's stupid and he knows it but a part of him is ashamed.  It had been his idea for them to join Overwatch after all and now he's the one having troubles and after all this time too.  He knows Zenyatta would never openly think less of him for such a thing either but just the same, his opinion truly matters to Genji and what is he right now if not a little disappointing?

Zenyatta nods and turns to go while Genji tries to ignore the part of him that feels like something about this whole situation is horribly wrong. 

"Good night, sensei," he says just as Zenyatta is about to close his door.

Zenyatta nods his head one last time and then Genji is alone.

***

This time Genji doesn't even try to fall asleep naturally.  He climbs onto the bed and gets into his standard meditative pose, trying to clear his mind as he had so easily earlier that afternoon.  Except of course, now it isn't easy.  Now instead of the sea and bells, he only hears the base roaring in his sensors and instead of peace, he only feels unrest.  After an unmeasurable amount of time later, Genji gives up, gets out of bed and turns back on the computer, determined to not waste his whole night on something so fruitless.  The monitor on, he takes a moment to deliberate, his cursor hovering between the surveillance records he'd been skimming the night before and the Project Dragon files he's been avoiding.  He sighs and opens the surveillance records.  Dr. Ziegler's notes can wait for another time.

***

The next day ends up being much the same as the day before.  Genji wakes up on his keyboard again but this time he's expecting it.  He stands up and groans, wondering just how tired he can get before he's actually capable of falling asleep on his feet then sighs and heads out to start his day.  Though he goes looking for Zenyatta first, he knows that once he's done wishing him good morning, it'll be time for him to go talk to Winston and find out what else he can do to help recommission the Watchpoint.  Today he ends up getting stuck doing inventory on their rather sparse food supply before switching to cleaning one of the hangers.  Like the day before, Zenyatta comes to join him when he's done with his own task but today, instead of joining Zenyatta in meditation afterwards, Genji instead goes for a run around the island, certain that there is no way he'd be able to stay awake otherwise.  Zenyatta does not seem to take Genji's refusal to heart but Genji can tell he's very worried about him, can read it in ever head tilt and gentle touch as they talk.  The run ends up doing him a world of good, the combination of the adrenaline in his veins and the simple feeling of his limbs working hard and fast burning off much of the exhaustion and anxiety that have been plaguing him all day. 

By the time he's supposed to be going to bed, Genji is feeling better, optimistic that once his high has worn off, he'll fall asleep easily.  In the meantime, he decides to keep looking through the files.  He boots up the computer and after a moment's deliberation, opens the folder labeled Ziegler/ProjectDragon, a knot already forming where his stomach should be.  He takes a deep breath and tries to push the feeling down.  Ever since he's arrived here, these files have been haunting him, just a niggling thought he can't fully put out of his mind but tonight that stops.   They're just information, just a collection of notes, videos and technical diagrams about his current body and how he'd gotten it.  He's good now, content with who he is so this shouldn't be problem, right?

N***

Metal feet pad across vinyl floors, a dark corridor stretching as far as the eye can see.  Genji slips silently from room to room, the metallic stench of blood and the ruin of corpses being the only sign he's been there.  There's a man in front of him, reaching for his sword but he's too slow.  In an instant, Genji bisects him neatly, the gore splattering on the walls and Genji's chest but it doesn't matter.  Intel says that there's eighty six Shimada operatives in this building and that man was only number forty one.  He's pushing on when suddenly he feels a tug on his ankle.  He turns to look and it's the man he's just killed.  The man looks up at him, his eyes glassy and wet with tears and it's Hanzo, looking identical to the last time he'd seen him.  Genji drops his sword with a clatter and pivots to hold Hanzo, the floor beneath his feet suddenly tatami instead of vinyl.  He cradles his brother against his chest, his eyes stinging, alarmed to realise that he's no longer in Base 227 but instead back in Shimada Castle, back in the room with the scroll stained with blood.  

Hanzo stares up at him and whispers,"Why?" and for the life of him, Genji doesn't know, would do anything to put him back together and make this right.  Hanzo reaches up with one red hand and tries to touch Genji's face but there's nothing there but an impassive metal mask. His stained fingers brushes his visor but as they makes contact, they liquefy, pouring down Genji's helmet and stump of Hanzo's hand.  Genji tries to hold Hanzo closer, tries to hold him together but he keeps melting, his once solid body oozing through Genji's grasp until he's holding nothing.  He looks down at his now empty hands, stained with his brother's blood and watches in horror as they start to come apart into their component pieces.  Screws and synthetic ligaments and metal phalange peel apart piece by piece, hitting the now vinyl floor and splashing before turning into blood themselves and mixing with Hanzo's.  He looks down the long, dark hall and sees the heads of the forty other men he'd already killed suddenly spin around and turn to face him and all of them are either Hanzo or his father.  He watches as unblinking and glassy eyed, they all start to melt too, their blood flooding the hall.  Genji is up to his mid-chest, watching as his forearms start to fall apart, synthetic muscle peeling back to reveal human bone.  He feels himself retch and suddenly, he's back at Watchpoint: Gibraltar, back in his room and safe.

N***

In an instant, Genji's on his feet, rubbing his hands together as he stares at them.  He tries to take a deep breath but feels it get caught in his throat.  For a second, he considers bolting, running away from this room and this place, running until his legs can't carry him anymore but Watchpoint: Gibraltar is an island so he won't get far and there's no way Zenyatta didn't hear him just now.  He squeezes his eyes shut but what lingering there is worse than the solid, undamaged synthetic arms he can see with his eyes open so he forces himself to keep them that way.  "Just go to Zenyatta," he mumbles to himself, "go and see Zenyatta.  You are not alone in this."  He takes another deep breath and this one works a bit better.  After one last glance at his still definitely solid hands, he opens his door, crosses the hall and knocks on Zenyatta's.  For a moment, his brain is amused by the absurdity of knocking on Zenyatta's door after sharing a room with him for the better part of two years but it passes.  After all, Zenyatta's space isn't his space any more.

"Come in," Zenyatta says almost immediately.

Genji steps inside to see Zenyatta sitting cross-legged on his bed, his phone in his hand but his visual sensors trained on Genji.

Genji bows.  "Excuse my interruption-" 

"You are always welcome here, Genji.  It is no trouble," Zenyatta says, cutting him off.  He looks Genji up and down and then gestures to bed.  "Feel free to join me if you feel like sitting."    

Genji can feel the adrenaline still in his veins, can feel the knot where his stomach used to be.  He tightens a hand into a fist but doesn't sit down. A quiet moment later, he asks, "Who are you talking to?" 

"Do you remember Daniela from Trujillo?"  Genji shakes his head so Zenyatta continues, "She was just informing me that she has gotten the job she'd been working towards when I saw her last.  Isn't that wonderful?"

Genji nods but he doesn't look at Zenyatta.  He breathes out through his nose and then says, "Please don't feel obligated to stop talking to her on my account.  This… I can wait."

"Nonsense, she was just sending me a quick message before she went out with friends to celebrate, see?"  Zenyatta holds out his phone which shows the end of a chat log between him and Daniela followed by a selfie of an attractive woman in her late twenties and her two friends (one of which is an omnic) squished together and dressed up like they are going out clubbing.  "And even if she wasn't, I'm sure she'd understand the importance of this if I explained."  He's quiet for a moment, looking Genji up and down.  "I can see how troubled you are but you know I will not force you to talk about it if you are not ready.  We can meditate if that would be more to your liking."  He sets his phone on his bedside table and then with an extended arm, starts to retrieve his orbs from their basket at the foot of his bed.  They float over gently, occasionally chiming as they dip and sway on their route.   

Genji thins his lips, his legs itching to pace but his mind wanting to meditate.  He decides to try the middle ground and sits himself on the very edge of the bed.  He looks down at his hands and sighs.  "Though I would like to meditate, I feel as if I must speak with you first."

Zenyatta, now with all of his orbs gently circling him, nods.  "I am listening."

Genji breathes in deep, his eyes still trained on his hands.  "I am… sorry I did not come to you sooner with this.  It is not because of anything you've done but wholly because of how ashamed I am."  Zenyatta tilts his head as if he's going to speak but Genji barrels on.  "It is just… I thought I was better, thought that for once in my fuck up of a life I'd made a good choice but it seems that I have not."

Genji is quiet for awhile before Zenyatta finally speaks.  "I believe you definitely have made a good choice by bringing us here but just because it is a good choice does not mean that things will be easy.  As you have said, this place and these people are tied to a very dark time in your life and nothing can erase that.  Perhaps with time though, we will make new memories here, better ones and then the bad ones won't seem so omnipresent."  Zenyatta reaches out and then hovers his hand over Genji's shoulder. "May I?"  

Genji nods and then Zenyatta sets his hand on his shoulder.  He feels it's firm presence, grounding him and he looks up at Zenyatta.  He sighs. "I believe you are right but I just do not know what to do in the meantime.  As you know, I have been sleeping poorly and tonight... I had my first nightmare in a long time."  He looks down and curls his hands into fists.  "My room, the room I'm staying in right now, it is the same room I stayed in back when I was first with Blackwatch and I don't think it's helping."

Zenyatta's orbs screech to a halt.  "We will have to speak to Winston about that immediately.  I do not believe he would want to be causing you needlessly stress."

He glances back at Zenyatta.  "You do not think that's perhaps a little bit excessive?"

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "Not at all.  The base is large and I assume that most of the rooms will remain uninhabited for months at the very least.  It should be no trouble to assign you to a room that you have no history with."

Genji glances down at his hands, thinking it over.  While he doesn't want to move further away from Zenyatta and is loathe to cause problems over something so stupid, Zenyatta is right that there are plenty of vacant rooms.  Perhaps the smart choice is to just discuss it with Winston and see what happens.  He sighs. "You are probably right; I will deal with this problem tomorrow.  In the meantime though..."  Genji trails off.

"You will stay in my room of course-" Genji's head snaps up but Zenyatta keeps talking. "It is no trouble and there is plenty of space in my bed."  He pauses for a moment before adding, "Because I do not use my bed of course."  He chuckles awkwardly.  

Genji feels himself smiling in spite of himself.  As usual, Zenyatta tells the worst jokes.  "If you are sure-"

Zenyatta nods firmly.  "I am."  He look at Genji for a moment and then at where his hand is resting on his shoulder before pulling it back.  "You had said earlier that you'd had a nightmare.  Do you wish to discuss it?"

Genji thinks for a moment and then shakes his head.  "It was not a particularly new nightmare; it has just been a long time since I've had it so it took me by surprise."

Zenyatta nods.  "In that case, what can I do for you?  You seem as if you are still far too tense to sleep so…"

"I believe we should try to meditate now.  Our last session near the cliffs was probably the most calm I've felt in days so if anything is going to help me sleep, it would be that."

"An excellent idea," Zenyatta nods and gestures to the space on the bed across from him. 

Genji scoots the rest of the way onto the bed and crosses his legs.  Then, after a moment's deliberation, he reaches around behind his head and unlocks his visor before pulling it free and setting it beside him.  When he looks up, Zenyatta is still, his optical sensors locked on his face.  Though Genji is still not the most comfortable sharing his face generally, Zenyatta is the rare exception to that rule. That said though, when he sees Zenyatta taking his face in, scanning every scar and inhuman feature, it makes an absurd and (still somehow after all these years) vain part of him wish that he was still handsome. He blushes slightly at the thought but ignores the feeling and sits up straighter.

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "I wish you'd come to me sooner.  It has been a long time since I've seen you this tired." 

"I am sorry-" Genji starts to say but Zenyatta cuts him off.

"You do not need to apologize to me.  I only wish that you will learn from this experience and take better care of yourself in the future."

"Yes, sensei," Genji bows his head slightly.

"Good," he nods and there is a bit of a smile to his voice.  "Now let us focus on the matter at hand and see if we can get you some actually restful sleep tonight."

Genji nods and takes a deep breath before adjusting his pose and closing his eyes.  The moment his vision goes black though, he's back in that hallway, back amidst the corpses and the ghosts of his past.  His eyes fly open and he shakes his head, determined to not give up so easily tonight.  If he can't close his eyes just yet, then he should focus on his breathing and clearing his mind while he waits for the images to wane.

As if he knows exactly what Genji is thinking, Zenyatta begins to play his orbs, giving Genji something else to focus on.  He listens to their gentle song and a quiet but unidentifiable hum that Genji had never heard in his own room and he starts to feel the lingering anxiety melt away.  A few minutes later, his eyes begin to drift close but each time they do, he's right back to the nightmares and snapping back awake.  After this has happened a few times, Genji's starting to worry.  What if here, just like in his own room, he won't be able to rest until he literally passes out?  He's thinking about this, thinking about his options when his eyes fall on Zenyatta and he has an idea.  Genji takes a deep breath.  "I'm sorry to interrupt but I have a strange request if that is alright?" 

Zenyatta nods his head slightly.  "Of course it is alright.  What do you need me to do?"

Genji looks down at his lap and bites his bottom lip.  It seems stupid and yet… "I know that this is not really the point of meditation but I was wondering if I could… get closer to you?"

A slightly discordant note rings out as two of Zenyatta's orbs play out of turn.  "Of course," he says a moment later, "Do you need me to sit different or-"

Genji shakes his head.  "Just let me-" he says, getting on to his hands and knees and scooting over until he's now side by side with Zenyatta.  He sits back down and adjusts himself until he's comfortable, his knee just touching Zenyatta's.  "There," he says, "is this acceptable?"

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "You do not need to worry about bothering me with such a simple thing," he says, reaching out and touching Genji's knee gently.  "All I want to do is help you."

Genji smiles, reaching down and squeezes Zenyatta's hand, the place where his stomach should be tightening pleasantly as their eyes meet.  "Thank you."

Zenyatta nods and after a long moment, Genji finally pulls his hand away.  Zenyatta squeezes his knee and then takes his hand away as well.  Genji watches it go and then nods.  Adjusting his pose and making sure to not break contact with Zenyatta, he takes a deep breath and then closes his eyes.  And the hallway is still there but this time, Genji can ignore it, can feel the calm, grounding presence of Zenyatta at his side and finally leave it and start to find his center.  He's starting to drift off, Zenyatta's orbs playing him a gentle lullaby when he slumps over and finds his cheek pressed up against something very smooth and hard.  He rubs his cheek against it and lets out a happy sigh.

"If you are beginning to drift off, you will want to lay down.  I do not make for the best pillow," Zenyatta says from somewhere above Genji's head.

Genji shakes his head slightly.  "You're fine," he yawns and snuggles closer.

Zenyatta stays perfectly still for a moment then shifts and wraps one arm around him and then the other.  A moment later, Genji is laying on the bed, his face pressed up against an actual pillow instead of his original metal one.  He feels something warm get wrapped around him and then Zenyatta says, "Sleep."

And so he does.  Or at least he's well on his way there, his sleep addled brain nearly gone when he feels a soft touch on his bicep.  It lingers there, warm and gentle, the thumb rubbing back and forth before he hears Zenyatta sigh and pull his hand away.  The last thing Genji remembers thinking is that he sounds a little sad and then he's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: So Camrazstuff drew a super cute comic based on the final scene of this chapter and I thought you all should see it so [here](http://camrazstuff.tumblr.com/post/156048234851/hey-so-all-of-u-should-go-read-knaccfornerdiness) it is!!!
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments and kudos on the fic so far! They really make my day! As always, feel free to swing by my [tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about Genyatta and their beautiful love! Next chapter will be up in two weeks!


	4. Missions and Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start looking up for Genji and a group meeting leads to him getting to do something he’s wanted to do for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brigitte might seem like an OC but she's actually Reinhardt's engineer/armor repair person from the Dragon Slayer comic. He mentions her name literally once so no worries if you don't remember her. Anyway, since they are both dedicated the the ideals of Overwatch and traveling together in the comic, I like to assume when he joined back up, she did as well so she'll be around in the background from time to time like any other Overwatch agent (not that there aren't plenty of those already orz such a large cast though I love so many of them so I can't really complain).

Genji wakes up with a yawn and a stretch, surprised at first to find himself on a bed.  Then the night before comes rushing back to him; the nightmare followed by his migration over to Zenyatta's room followed by his passing out on Zenyatta's bed.  He bolts upright and looks around, wondering if there's any chance that Zenyatta is still here after all these hours.  To his surprise, he finds him immediately, floating in the single empty part of the room as he uses his phone.

"Good morning, Genji," Zenyatta says, looking up and tilting his head, "Are you feeling any better?"

Genji thinks it over.  His head feels clear for the first time in days and he feels rested and refreshed.  He smiles and nods.  "Yes, thank you for letting me stay here.  It helped greatly."

Zenyatta nods.  "You are always welcome here, Genji.  Do not doubt that."

"I won't," Genji smiles before suddenly becoming aware of his exposed face and glancing away.  He looks around and finds his visor on the bedside table before carefully snapping it back into place.  He climbs off the bed, straightening it and then walks over to Zenyatta.  "To be honest, I did not expect you to still be here this many hours later.  What have you been doing while I stole your bed?"

"Just my usual tasks: I ran a refresh cycle, caught up with some friends and now I'm running a flash card game to practice for my online punjabi class.  I am unfortunately still horrible at verb conjugations despite my best efforts."

Genji laughs, a warm feeling curling in his guts.

Zenyatta tilts his head and lets out a little huff.  "What is so funny about that?  It's been years since you learned a new language so perhaps you underestimate how hard it is."  

Genji shakes his head and hold up his hands. "I am not teasing you, I promise.  I simply find it endearing that you put so much effort into learning languages when you could just upload a new dictionary into your language databases and switch with ease."   

Zenyatta looks at him and shakes his head, "I could but I have found that the easy way ends up with me having an understanding of nuance, sentence structure and slang that leaves much to be desired. Do you not remember my flawless Japanese when we first met?

Genji laughs harder.  "It is a good thing I knew english as well."

Zenyatta chuckles, "Exactly my point.  I'm just trying to avoid making such a fool of myself ever again if at all possible."

Genji reaches out and sets a hand on his shoulder.  "I wouldn't say you looked a fool though your Japanese was truly abysmal."

"It is a good thing I found such an excellent teacher to correct it then," Zenyatta says, switching into Japanese easily and meeting his eyes.

"You flatter me," Genji chuckles, his cheeks heating up slightly.  

"You know I am not one for idle praise," Zenyatta tilts his head, smile obvious in his tone.

"I know."  Genji feels his stomach flip and realizes that his hand is still resting on Zenyatta's shoulder.  He pulls it back and laughs again.  "I should probably go and speak to Winston about changing rooms if at all possible.  No use putting it off."

Zenyatta nods and tucks his phone away. "Let us go then.  I will come with," he pauses and looks at Genji, "unless you do not want me to that is."

Genji thinks it over and sighs.  He knows he's perfectly capable of doing this on his own and yet… he can't quite bring himself to turn down a chance to spend time with Zenyatta either.  "Your company is always appreciated, sensei," Genji says and smiles.  

***

When they get to Winston and explain the situation, he is horrified.  

"I was certain I'd assigned you a new room but with how distracted I've been recently, I must have just fallen back on your old assignment.  Please forgive me," he says, looking away from his monitor and at Genji with pleading eyes. 

Genji accepts his apology with an easy laugh and Winston turns back to his computer to find an available room.  As Zenyatta had said, most of the rooms are vacant so almost any other room would do, but Winston quickly suggests one on the far side of the base, one of the old officer's quarters.  

"I doubt most of them will ever be used again," Winston says, "and they have windows that look out on the sea.  Would that help?"

Genji's not sure but he remembers the lovely afternoon by the cliffs with Zenyatta, the rush of the sea and the chime of the orbs and he thinks it might.  "That sounds wonderful, thank you Winston."

***

Genji grabs his things and moves them to his new room.  It turns out that even though it used to be officer's quarters, the only real amenities that makes it any different than his old room are a small bathroom with a shower and the windows.  Still, the view is nothing to scoff at and it's location drowns out many of the sounds of the base with those of the sea beating against the cliffs.

"It is quite beautiful here," Zenyatta says as he glances out the window and Genji agrees.

Later that night, after he's finished his tasks and meditated with Zenyatta, he heads back to his new room, glad that he never has to return to that other room ever again.  He opens his door and finds, to his surprise, a small wall scroll resting on top of a note.  It reads:

Dear Genji,

I hope your new room finds you well.  Remember that, in spite of the slightly longer distance between our rooms now, if you ever need me, I am always here for you.  Though I am confident that the change of location will be helpful all on it's own, I felt that perhaps you could also use some decorations to make it feel more like home.  To that end, I have given you a wall scroll from the monastery that I hope does just that.

Best wishes,

Zenyatta

Genji smiles as he stares down at the note, a tight feeling in his chest.  He picks up the scroll and unrolls it, the symbol of the Shambali emblazoned in light green on the fabric.  He looks around and finds a nail still lingering from the room's last occupant and hangs it up on it.  When he falls asleep a half an hour later, it with a warm feeling in his chest and the sounds of the sea in his audio receptors.

***

For the next several days, life falls into a simple pattern.  Genji spends most of the early day doing tasks to help get the watchpoint back into working order. In the afternoon, he socializes with his teammates and spends time with Zenyatta.  Then in the evening, he uses his newfound computer access to read his files before finally falling asleep in his nice new room.  It's a good routine and while Genji didn't rejoin Overwatch to clean and work maintenance, he's confident that things won't be staying this quiet for long.

Sure enough, a week after Genji and Zenyatta's arrival at the island, Winston calls for their first team meeting.  Genji is excited as he takes his seat beside Zenyatta, eager to pitch a mission idea he's been working on for the last few days.  He watches as the rest of the agents filter in, surprised by how few people have returned; Including him and Zenyatta, there are only eight so far.  Once Tracer finally arrives, spriting in and taking her seat with a flash, Winston clears his throat and and the meeting is called to order.

At first, the meeting is pretty standard.  Winston thanks them all for answering the recall and then goes around the table asking everyone to introduce themselves.  Genji knows who most of them are through reputation if not from actually meeting them before though there is a brown haired woman with freckles sitting beside Reinhardt who he's never seen before.  She introduces herself as Brigitte, saying, "I keep this old man fighting fit," before elbowing him in the upper arm.  Reinhardt laughs loud, saying, "That you do," as he smacks her on the back.  She shifts forward slightly with the weight of it and then starts to laugh herself.   _ Two of a kind _ , Genji thinks,  wondering just how long they've know each other for.

Once introductions are done, Winston spares no time before switching to the real reason he's called for this meeting: finances.  It turns out that even with a team as small as their current one, running an organization like Overwatch is an expensive undertaking.  He pulls up graph after graph on the monitor but even without them his basic point quickly becomes crystal clear: unless they acquire an alternative revenue source and soon, they will quickly run through Winston's saving, which is what they are utilizing now.  As Genji hears this, the final part of the mission he's been planning locks into place. He patiently bides his time, waiting until Winston asks for comments or suggestions before raising his hand and offering his plan.

"I know for a fact that Shimada Castle is housing many pieces of illegally obtained art," he says, looking at Winston as he speaks.  "I am certain that I could easily infiltrate the building and retrieve them so that we could then return them to the museums where they belong and receive a generous finder's fee.  It will not be as much as if we sold them on the black market but I feel doing the right thing makes the lesser profits worthwhile, don't you?"

The entire table except Zenyatta stares at him for a moment, all of their expressions one's of shock.

After a long moment, Winston asks, "Of course but how are you so certain that these items were stolen?" 

"Oh I stole them," Genji says, a slight chuckle to his voice. "I was much younger and occasionally did things my father approved of."  He glances around.  "Did I not say that part before?"

"You may have left that out, yeah," McCree says, a smile pulling at his lips.  He looks at Winston as he says, "If we're heading out to Hanamura, I'd sure like to come with.  Been needing to get back there for awhile."

Winston shakes his head.  "We haven't voted to approve the mission yet, McCree." He turns to look at Genji again.  "Though your rough plan sounds… workable especially with the dire straights we're in.  Do you think you could give us more details?"

Genji nods.  "I am thinking a very small team.  For the actually retrieval, it would just be me because I can get in and out without having to hurt anyone or leaving any trace I was there.  Date wise, I was thinking we'd leave tomorrow so that we'd be there by the 15th.  I've been studying the guard patterns from our surveillance records and there is a large vulnerability on that specific date every year."

Genji starts as Zenyatta touches his knee under the table.  He turns to look at him and Zenyatta tilts his head back at Genji.  It seems he knows exactly what his real plan is.  Genji nods at him, hoping he won't spill the beans too quickly.

"I think that sounds pretty great, love," Tracer says, leaning back and putting her feet up on the table.  "I say we give it a go… though I'd rather not be the pilot if at all possible.  Picking all you lot up has kinda worn me out."

"I'll be Genji's backup," McCree says, tilting his hat at him, "Two man team, in and out in less than three days, should be a piece of cake."

Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou raises her hands (the first to do so since Genji) and Winston glances up from the tablet he'd recently begun skimming furiously.  "Go ahead Mei," he says before returning to his previous task.

"I agree that the mission plan sounds solid.  It seems like you put a lot of work into this already, Genji," she looks at him and smiles.

He smiles and nods his head, "Thank you, Dr. Zhou."

"Please just call me Mei," she waves a hand. "It's just," she turns to look at McCree, "and don't take this the wrong way but I'm not sure you're a suitable second since you can't pilot the scramjet, right?"

"I can fly it just fine," McCree scoffs before he lowers his voice and adds, "though whether I have my license or not is another matter."

"Oh no," Tracer says, taking her feet off the table and leaning forward, "Don't you dare act like your "emergency landings" are any better than just crashing.  I've seen the planes after you've flown them-"

"Those were all actual emergencies, Tracer," McCree say, a bit of annoyance starting to edge into his drawl, "and nobody died so I don't see the problem-"

"The problem is planes are expensive, Jesse and-"

The meeting starts to devolve into a quiet argument with Tracer and McCree at the center of it while Winston just sits quietly at his spot at the table, his eyes glued to the tablet instead of attempting to regulate the meeting like he should.  A moment later, he gasps and then says, "Genji, can I speak to you in the hall please?" quiet enough that no one but Genji can hear him.

And Genji knows what this is, knows exactly what Winston's just figured out so he says, "There's no need, Winston.  I promise that I have no intention of killing him.  Does that clear up the problem you wished to discuss?"

The quiet arguing that had broken out around the table is silenced again and again all eyes are on Genji.

Winston blinks, "Uh yes, I mean... no, not quite. It's just, given your history, are you absolutely sure you don't want...I don't know, revenge?"

Genji nods, the image of his brother, dead in his arms from his nightmare flashing before his eyes.  "I am positive."

Winston is pensive, his brow drawn in though when Zenyatta chimes in.  "I know I am new to this group and that some of you may not trust me," he says, looking around the table, "But of all the people here, only I can speak with absolute certainty on the nature of Genji's character and I can assure you with that Genji has no intention of hurting his brother.  I believe he just wishes to speak to him after all these years." 

Genji smiles at Zenyatta and nods.  "Yes, my intent was retrieve the items as already planned and then speak to him if at all possible.  I am hoping in fact that he may join us as he would be a powerful ally and it seems as though we could use more of those," Genji says, looking around at their small group.

"Do you truly believe that we can trust him?" Reinhardt booms, "Was he not eager to rule the Shimada with an iron fist all those years ago before he disappeared?"

"Yes," Genji says, "but it has been a long ten years."  He looks down at the table and then back up at Reinhardt.  "If he agrees to come, than I believe we can trust him fully."

Reinhardt nods, "Then I agree to this mission and offer myself as backup.  It will be nice to get off base for awhile."

"Hey," McCree says, "I already offered-"

"Genji, was it?" Brigitte says, quietly ignoring McCree's complaints.  Genji nods so she continues, "I'm pretty sure I've read your file."  She pauses and then looks him in the eye.  "Are you not worried about meeting him again, you know, considering what happened last time?"

Genji laughs a little and shakes his head.  "I can honestly say I'm not."  She looks confused so Genji adds, "Let me just say that while he is a worthy ally still, the bow was never his strongest discipline.  Also, I've had ten years to practice."

Brigitte smiles and then chuckles a little.  "Alright, I'll be your pilot then.  Wouldn't want to leave you all alone with this old man anyway."

Reinhardt laughs.

"Wait a minute," McCree says over the loud laughter, "don't you two go muscling me out.  I was the first to offer-" 

Winston sighs as he cuts him off.  "I'm sorry to do this to you Jesse but Brigitte and Reinhardt are a tested team with years of experience working together and you don't even have your pilot's license.  I will make sure to keep your desire to get out to Hanamura in mind when we plan future missions though."  McCree opens his mouth to complain but Winston ignores him and turns to Genji.  "You, Brigitte and Reinhardt will be taking off at 1100 hours.  I hope it all goes as you've planned."

After a few more minutes of collectively discussing additional ways that Overwatch could obtain more funds, the group breaks up, quiet bickering still audible amongst the ranks.  As Genji goes to leave the meeting room, Zenyatta says, "Genji, may I speak with you?" and stops him dead in his tracks.

"Of course, sensei," Genji says, eyebrows raised, "what is it?"

Zenyatta gets out of his chair and then returns to his normal floating position.  "Let us walk together and we shall discuss it."

Genji nods and then walks with Zenyatta in silence until they are out of the building and away from the crowd.  Once they are definitely alone, Zenyatta says, "You know that I do believe in your mission, right?  It seems solidly planned and I can not disagree that Overwatch is in dire need of more resources."  He pauses and after a moment, Genji turns to look at him as they walk.

"I do," Genji nods, "and yet, I am certain that I hear some hesitancy in your words.  Are you worried about how I'll fair if Hanzo doesn't want to talk?" 

Zenyatta chuckles and waves a hand.  "No no, you know I have complete faith in your abilities.  I doubt that Hanzo could lay on scratch on you now without his dragons and I'm sure you are ready for that."

Genji smiles.  "I am."

"It is just," he pauses and looks down at his hands, "while I do not think it... unwise for you to seek him out, I wanted to remind you that sometimes even the closest of bonds don't need to be reformed once they've been broken." He looks up and meets the green slit in Genji's visor.  "You have forgiven him, let the anger in your heart go but you needed to do that for yourself, so you could be healthy and not weighed down by your past.  This is… far more than that and I wanted to remind you that at the end of the day you do not owe him anything."

Genji bites his bottom lip as he considers his words.  "I know, sensei and while I do still feel partially responsible for how our relationship fell apart-" Zenyatta moves his head as if he's about to speak but Genji pushes on, "this is not motivated by my guilt, I promise."

Zenyatta nods.  "Alright, then what is it motivated by?"

Genji sighs.  "Pity mostly."  Zenyatta scoffs so Genji adds, "If you had seen the surveillance footage I have, you would feel the same."

Zenyatta shakes his head, "Who says I do not already pity him?  An aimless, damaged man who left behind everything he'd ever known or wanted all because of a horrible mistake.  There is much to be pitied there."  He pauses and reaches out to set a hand on Genji's shoulder.  "But pity doesn't change my priorities on the matter.  You see, to me, you always come first, Genji, and I worry that in this instance, you are letting very understandable pity get in the way of what is best for you."

Genji feels a warm pull in his chest at Zenyatta's words but ignores it, determined not get swayed from his opinion.  "I disagree.  I think the benefits of helping Hanzo find a path in life, especially a noble one we both believe in far outweighs any difficulties it will bring to my life.  After all, is it not our duty to help those we find who are in need of it?"  Genji says, a smile curling his lips.

Zenyatta sighs. "Turning my own words against me, I see."

Genji chuckles, "Yes, as you said, I learned that from the wisest man I know so it must be true."

Zenyatta shakes his head, "You are a menace, you know that right?"

Genji laughs, saying, "You know you love me," before he can stop himself.  And it's just a turn of phrase, and of course Zenyatta cares about him but still, it's too much to say it like that and Genji knows that the second it's escaped his lips.  Genji can feel the hand on his shoulder tense and he holds his breath.

A quiet moment later, Zenyatta shakes his head and pats Genji gently on the shoulder before taking his hand away.  "Hush, do not push your luck," he says and his tone is gentle but also a little sad.

"Zen-" Genji starts to says but Zenyatta cuts him off.

"Let us go and meditate.  It is important that you are in your best state of mind when going on a mission like this."

With Zenyatta's words, Genji remembers the issue that was at hand before his own careless joke.  "So you approve of my mission now?"

Zenyatta shakes his head, "I always did.  I just wished to discuss the emotional complexities and your reasoning first, to make certain you had thought this through. That is all."

Genji nods. "Thank you, sensei, I will keep what we have discussed in mind."

Zenyatta nods back.  "See that you do."

****

For the next hour, as they meditate, Genji tries his best to clear his mind.  At first, he can't stop worrying that he'd hurt Zenyatta with his careless joke, can't stop thinking about how sad he'd sounded.  It feels like there's something he's missing, something that will let him understand exactly why Zenyatta had sounded so defeated but for the life of him Genji can't figure it out.  He keeps opening his eyes, catching little glimpses of him when he should be focusing inwards but Zenyatta looks okay now, his body language calm and graceful like it always is when they meditate.  Genji sighs and tries his best to put it out of his mind for now, bringing his focus back to his mission.  As Zenyatta had said, it's important that he be in his best state of mind and Genji knows no better way to achieve that than to meditate with Zenyatta.  He takes a deep breath and focuses on finding his center, the sounds of Zenyatta's orbs and the sea quickly washing his troubled thoughts away.

***

The next morning, with newly cleaned swords at his side and his common attire of sweatshirt and cargo pants left folded on his dresser, Genji waits on the tarmac for Brigitte and Reinhardt.  He's been up since four in the morning and he's early, a combination of nerves and his generally short sleeping cycle making it unavoidable.  As he paces, Zenyatta waits with him, the periodically rapid spin of his orbs the only sign that he too might be nervous.  

"What is  _ he _ doing here?" Reinhardt booms as he and Brigitte burst out a nearby door, his eyes locked on Zenyatta.  He looks at Genji and his expression softens. "It is just… we don't really have room on this mission for one more you see..."

"He is only here to see me off, do not worry," Genji says, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice and mostly failing.

Reinhardt looks between the two of them and his face softens further.  "Ahhhh, well Brigitte and I did most of the preflight prep last night so you only have about five minutes until we'll be ready to go.  I," he pauses and looks between them again, "shall see you on the plane, Genji."  The corners of his lips just quirk up and then he turns to go.

"I'm sorry-" Genji starts to say the moment he thinks Reinhardt is out of earshot.

Zenyatta holds up a hand to cut him off.  "Do not worry, Genji.  I think he is a good man overall.  I believe I just remind him of some... unpleasant memories from the war."

"That's no excuse," Genji grumbles.

"I did not say that is was; I simply believe he is already coming around.  Did you not see how he smiled right before he left?"

Genji thinks about it and sighs.  "Do you ever tire of always being right?"

Zenyatta laughs.  "Oh goodness, I am not even close to always right.  What a horrible burden that would be."

"Yeah, I guess so," Genji chuckles, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

A long silence falls between the two of them as the plane's engines rev and sputter to life. Genji keeps looking from the plane to Zenyatta and back, his thoughts torn between his upcoming mission and saying goodbye to Zenyatta.  He's wondering just how much time he has left when the jerk of Zenyatta's orbs catches his attention out of the corner of his eye.  He tilts his head as he turns to looks at him, taking in his body language.  "I am sorry to worry you so," he says quietly, the roar of the nearby plane engine almost covering it up but not quite. 

Zenyatta shakes his head and chuckles awkwardly.  "Worried? No."  He waves a hand as if to bat the idea away. "I have complete faith in your abilities, why would I be worried?"  He starts to take the hand back but Genji sees it twitch so he reaches out and wraps both his hands around it to steady him.  Zenyatta's orbs screech to a halt and he looks up at Genji.

"I am almost certain that those are not mutually exclusive actually," Genji says, feeling the firm, slightly warm weight of Zenyatta's hand between his and smiling.

"I suppose you are correct," Zenyatta says as he places his hand on top of Genji's, "How did you become so wise?"

Genji laughs, "I had an excellent teacher."

Zenyatta chuckles and squeeze his top hand.  "Just make certain to take care of yourself alright?"

A warm feeling curls in Genji's guts and he squeezes back.  "I always do."

Zenyatta shakes his head. "I am serious, Genji.  Please do this, for me."

"I will," he says, squeezing Zenyatta's hand again, "I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Dragons happens between this chapter and next chapter! Genji will have some thoughts on it obviously but I won't really write the whole thing out as I don't think that would really benefit this story.  
> On a slightly unrelated note, I'm actually pretty serious about what I had Zenyatta say about not having to fix every relationship that breaks even if they are family. I have some experience with toxic family and I might not be a therapist but I know for a fact that sometimes you just have to cut bad people out of your life. Genji is a bit of a goober about this tbh so don't feel like you're bad if you can't forgive someone as fully as Genji because he's nuts really. Forgiveness or at least moving on and not being obsessed about it = good, allowing the person back into your life = generally not a great idea but ymmv. Also note that I love Hanzo a lot (and the eagle-eyed amongst you might notice that I've hinted at some possible McHanzo which will play out in my next big fic if all goes as planned) so don't interpret this as hate really, just some facts from a lady who's been there.  
> As always, thank you for your kudos and kind comments! They really keep me going :D Also feel free to swing by [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about Genyatta and their beautiful love! Next chapter will be up in two weeks!


	5. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji returns from his mission but his homecoming isn't quite what he expected.

Three day later, Genji returns to Watchpoint: Gibraltar with several crates filled with stolen art and not a scratch on him.  He'd been right about the holes in the security brought on by Hanzo's yearly visit and so getting the art without being seen had been easy.  Talking to Hanzo, on the other hand, had not gone exactly as he'd planned since Hanzo had immediately interpreted him as an assassin there to kill him.  It had taken Genji awhile to really get to the point of his visit and once he had (even though Hanzo now knew it was him and that he was not in fact dead), he still had tried to shoot at him.  Despite all this though and Genji's vague disappointment at Hanzo's cold response to his continued existence, Genji is overall pleased with how the entire mission went, certain that Hanzo at least now knows he has other options for how to live his life.

_ Also it had been nice to be back in Hanamura _ , he thinks as their scramjet makes it way in for a landing,  _ even if it is no longer my home _ .  He looks down at the base as it gets larger and larger, wondering where exactly in the complex Zenyatta would be at this moment. He considers the time and Zenyatta's normal schedule and then sighing, stops himself.  No matter what he wants to do first, his first actual order of business will be to help Reinhardt and Brigitte unload the art and then report in to Winston for debriefing.  Talking to Zenyatta about how his mission had gone will have to wait.

***

An hour of being responsible later, Genji is finally free to do what he wants.  He checks the time on his HUD and then bolts off to find Zenyatta, shouting "Goodbye!" to his teammates as he goes.  The first place he checks is their usual meditation spot by the sea.  It's beautiful but empty when Genji gets there so he moves on.  Next, he checks the mess since it's around when many of their teammates like to eat and sometimes Zenyatta accompanies them just to socialize but to his surprise only Tracer, Brigette and Reinhardt are there.  Tracer waves and Genji waves back before sprinting off again, searching his mind for someplace else Zenyatta might be.  He remembers as he runs that Zenyatta has been getting along rather well with Dr. Mei-Ling Zhou so he figures it is worth a shot to check out her lab since he hadn't seen her eating lunch with the rest.  He sprints up and finds the door is open.  He knocks on it anyway as he glances in, saying, "Dr. Zhou?"

She starts at the noise and looks up from the work she's doing to her helper drone.  "Oh hello Genji!" she smiles, "You're back early."

Genji nods.  "Yes, everything went smoothly so we got to leave before we'd initially planned."  He pauses and looks around but it's obvious that Zenyatta is not there.  "I am sorry to barge in here and bother you but would you happen to know where Zenyatta is?  I've been looking for him and I've run out of ideas."

Mei chuckles.  "It's no bother really.  I'm just giving Snowball a quick tune up before our mission since I had some time."  She pauses and taps her screwdriver to her chin.  "If I was going to guess where he'd be, I'd probably check his room in case he's still packing but you probably already checked there, right?"

Genji's eyebrows shoot up.   _ What does she mean packing? _  "No, he is not one to linger in his room needlessly so I hadn't thought to check it before now.  Thank you for your help," he says and bows.

She smiles and flicks her screwdriver.  "It's no big deal.  You've still got about a half an hour until we leave so you'll be able to catch him easy."

Genji nods, saying, "Thank you again," before turning to leave, his mind already considering this new information.

He makes his way to Zenyatta's room quickly, arriving at the door and knocking in under three minutes.

"Come in," Zenyatta says.

Genji opens the door to see him packing and his heart clenches in his chest, the sheer amount to which he'd missed Zenyatta bowling him over for a minute. He wants to go over to him and give him a quick hug, to tell him about Hanzo and how they need to go to Hanamura together someday but he doesn't, the proof of Dr. Zhou's words stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Genji," he says, smile obvious in his tone, "I am so glad you are back early.  I did not think I would get to see you before I left.  How did things go with Hanzo?"

"It went well," Genji says, "though perhaps not as well as I'd have hoped. Hanzo did not seem pleased to see me in fact." He pauses for a second before blundering on.  "But none of that is at all important right now because I'd rather we use our limited time to discuss your rapidly approaching trip."

Zenyatta nods his head and puts down the dress robes he's halfway through folding.  "That is fair.  While I am very interested in the details of your mission, perhaps we will have to wait to discuss that until another time. What would you like to know?"  

"Where you are going for one and what you will be doing?  I hadn't thought we'd be doing another mission so soon."

"It was a last minute decision much like your own mission.  We saw an opportunity and decided to try and capitalize on it.  There is going to be a Omnic's rights rally in Madrid and I will be giving a speech at it."

"Oh," Genji says, turning the information over in his mind, "but you've never been much of one to speak so impersonally... and why is Dr. Zhou coming with you?  You've both said this is a mission and yet..."

"Yes well," Zenyatta says, folding his hands in his lap, and glancing down, "we've decided to use this opportunity to try and see if we can perhaps lure out some Talon agents before they realize that Overwatch is reforming."

The second Genji understands what Zenyatta is saying, he feels where his stomach should be drop out, his hands balling in to fists.  He looks down at the ground and grits his teeth.  "You mean you're using yourself as bait.  You want people to come and try to assassinate you so that Overwatch can try and catch them, that is what you mean, yes?"

"I would not put it that way but yes, we believe I may be an enticing target to them-"

"We," Genji spits, "you keep saying we but whose idea was this really?  Which one of them decided you were disposable?  That your life was worth that of a few Talon agents?"

Zenyatta floats closer.  "I knew you would not be pleased with this plan but I will have you know it is not the dangerous slapdash effort you seem to think it to be.  To be entirely frank, this mission was almost completely my idea-"

"Then you are much more foolish than I've ever thought you were."

"Genji," Zenyatta says, reaching out to put a hand on Genji's shoulder but Genji rolls it out of his reach.  He sighs and takes his hand back.

"Do not try to placate me like I'm being ridiculous because I know I am not."  Genji takes in a deep breath and sighs.  "I was there with you when we watched him die, remember?"  He looks down at the ground and tries to not remember the crack or the way Mondatta had fallen over, heavy and lifeless.  "All it took was one shot and-"

"Genji," Zenyatta says, putting his hands on both sides of Genji's face and tilting it up until they are looking at each other, "I do not think that you are being ridiculous but you must remember that I am not Mondatta."  

Genji scoffs, "I do know that."

Zenyatta tilts his head at him, tone rye, "Then you must also know that I, unlike my brother, am not a pacifist and if Talon's assassins approach this hit expecting that I am anything like him then they will be in for a series of unpleasant surprises." He takes his hands off Genji's face and flexes his arms, his orbs singing as he spins them faster.

He looks at Zenyatta and sighs.  "I did not intend to imply that I think you can not hold you own in a fight, sensei.  I think you are very capable." He pauses, considering his next words. "It is just... this will not be a fight but a single shot from possibly miles away and-"

"Did you know that Mondatta so believed in peace that he did not even have a personal shielding unit?" Zenyatta says quietly, leaning in close.

Genji sighs, trying to take Zenyatta's words to heart but still feeling a knot where his stomach should be.  "I see what you are saying but I can't shake the feeling that no matter how well prepared you are for this, it will not be enough and I wish desperately that you would not go."

Zenyatta reaches out to set a hand on Genji's shoulder and this time, Genji let's him.  "I know that your concern for me is well meant and comes from a place of caring but perhaps if you alter your thinking about this a little, you will see why I believe my going is so important." 

"What do you mean?" Genji says, tilting his head at Zenyatta.

"For just a minute, put your feelings for me aside and think only about Talon and their recent actions."

"Alright," Genji says, shaking his head a little.

"Do you have a picture of them in your mind?"  Genji nods so Zenyatta continues, "Now think about this event.  It is a rally featuring many outspoken omnics and humans alike, all hoping to bring equality and peace between the groups.  Would that not already be an appealing target for Talon whether I was there or not?"

Genji groans.  

"And isn't it better, knowing all of this, that I, who is both an excellent target and not easily killed, make a point of attending the event while bringing with me a small group of undercover trained professionals so that we can give them a hard time if they dare to show their faces?"

Genji's shoulders fall and he sighs.  "Are you absolutely certain that you are not always right?"

Zenyatta laughs.  "No no, I am positive that I have made mistakes in the past." He pauses and looks up at Genji,  "I am sorry that the simple act of seeing my perspective does not also provide you with the peace of mind that my reasoning provides to me."

"It is just…" Genji says, looking at Zenyatta and struggling to find his words, "I understand why you must but still... thinking about it fills me with dread.  I wish that I could come with as well, to make sure that you will be safe but I assume that that would not work."

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "I am sorry to say that it will not.  Unfortunately, our transport will be full as is."

Genji looks down at his feet, feelings of fear and powerlessness fighting to to overwhelm him.  He takes a deep breath and then looks up at Zenyatta. "In that case then, may I see you off at the very least?"

"Of course," Zenyatta nods, rubbing Genji's bicep before pulling his hand away, "Just let me finish packing."

***

A few minutes later, they're on the tarmac again for the second time in only three days and Genji can't seem to stand still.  He's pacing beside a perfectly calm Zenyatta, watching as the other agents slowly filter in and get on the transport.  When Fareeha (who seems to have arrived while he was gone) finally shows up and nods at Zenyatta before getting on the scramjet, Zenyatta turns to him and sighs.  "I am sorry to say this but I think that I must be going now."

Genji stops pacing and turns to look at Zenyatta. There's a thousand things he wants to say but at the moment he can't remember a single one so he just bows and says, "Take care, sensei."

Zenyatta puts his hands together and bows back.  "I will see you when I return and we will finally get to discuss your mission like I wanted to before," he says, his tone cheerful.

Genji nods, his hands curling in to fists.

"Farewell, Genji," Zenyatta says and turns to go.

Genji watches him for a second, watches as the space between him and the scramjet get smaller and smaller.  Then in an instant, he's in front of Zenyatta, reaching out and wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close for a hug.

Zenyatta freezes for a second and then relaxes into it, bringing his own arms up to wrap around Genji's back.

"I am sorry I am so worried," Genji says quietly, his hand coming up to wrap around the back of Zenyatta's neck as he pulls him closer.

Zenyatta's voicebox stutters for a second before he says, "Do not apologize for that.  I am sorry that my very first mission for Overwatch is such a troubling one for you.  Perhaps you regret inviting me to join you here now-"

Genji shakes his head.   "That is not it at all."  He pauses and takes a deep breath.  "It's just… I don't know what I will do if you don't ever come back."

Zenyatta rubs a circle into the top of Genji's back as he says, "You will be fine if that happens.  I have complete faith in that."

Genji turns his face into Zenyatta's neck and squeezes him a bit tighter.  "Don't make me find out," he whispers.

Zenyatta slowly moves a hand up to the back of Genji's neck and leans his head in closer.  "I will not.  I promise you that."

They stand there like that for a moment, the solid and slightly warm presence of Zenyatta in his arms feeling so good and right.  He doesn't want to let him go, wants to keep him there and safe in his arms forever but he knows that's impossible.  

"Ehheeeemmmm," a voice says from somewhere nearby.

In an instant, Genji and Zenyatta split apart and turn to look at the source of the noise.

"Sorry loves," Tracer says, smiling sheepishly, "just came to check that the plane is looking good and ready to go."  She catches a glimpse of something behind Genji and then adds, "And that McCree won't be flying her like he promised."

Genji turns around to see McCree paused in the doorway near the cockpit.  

McCree shakes his head.  "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it; Fareeha will make sure to bring her down nice and easy."

Tracer opens her mouth to argue but Fareeha shouts from the cockpit, "Don't you trust me to land her, Lena?"

McCree starts to laugh and Lena puts her hands on her hips and sighs, "Please tell me you're joking.  You know he still doesn't have his license after all these years, right?"

Fareeha turns to look at McCree.  "Really, Jesse?"

McCree stops laughing and shrugs.  "I ummm… well you see-"

Fareeha chuckles, "Guess we'll be needing to give you a crash course along the way then?"

Tracer wrinkles up her nose and frowns.  "Now I know you're taking the piss.  With a shiny career record like yours, no way you'd put a mission like this at risk."

"Of course not," Fareeha shakes her head. "I'm sorry Lena, it's just been awhile since I got to be Jesse's partner in crime and I couldn't help myself.  Good to see he still has the same dumb sense of humor after all these years-"

"Hey, I take offense to that," McCree says, crossing his arms and frowning.

Lena and Fareeha look at each other and then start to laugh.  A second later, Genji and Zenyatta join in, their embarrassment temporarily forgotten.

McCree just shakes his head and swats his hand in Lena's general direction before going off to find his seat.

Zenyatta watches him go and then his head perks up and he stops laughing.  "I should probably get on the transport as well.  I hate to make them wait anymore than I already have."

Genji chuckles and scratches the back of his head, "Yes, of course, I am sorry to have delayed you."

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "Do not apologize.  It was…" He trails off and then chuckles.  "Take care of yourself, Genji," he says and then bows his head, "I am sure I will be seeing you again soon."

"You as well, sensei," Genji bows back, his arms longing to be around Zenyatta again despite how illogical that is.

Zenyatta nods, his visual sensors taking Genji in for one last moment before he turns his back on him and gets on the transport.

Genji sighs and watches as the door closes.

"Don't worry," Lena says from closer then he remembers her being before, "I'm certain he'll be fine." She motions for him to follow her to a safer distance so that the plane can take off.

Once they're both far enough away, he turns back to look at the transport as it begins to take off, the fear from earlier starting to bubbling up inside him again.  He swallows it down and turns to look at Tracer.  "I am sure you are right," he says and desperately wills himself to believe it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos so far! I appreciate each and every single one of them <3 As always, feel free to swing by [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about Genyatta and their beautiful love! Also as a quick warning, while I do hope that I will be able to get the next chapter done in time, I will be having some guests visiting from out of town for most of the next two weeks so there is a small chance that I will be late. I apologize in advance if that happens.


	6. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji is tormented by anxiety over Zenyatta's fate until a chance meeting with someone who's also having a hard time makes him see something he's been missing for a long time.

Genji wants to be polite, wants to interact with Tracer like a normal person but at the moment he can't really bring himself to do it.  The moment the transport disappears into the distance, Genji excuses himself, not wanting to impose his foul mood on anyone else.  He wanders for a bit, the weight of his anxiety feeling heavy in his gut before he decides to head to their usual meditation spot to try and see if if he's at all capable of clearing his mind right now.  

As always, the spot is beautiful but for some reason it doesn't fill him with it's usual accompanying swell of warmth and comfort.  He pushes the thought aside and sits down, determined to not let his feelings overwhelm him.  He takes a deep breath and listens to the sounds of the sea as he turns his thoughts inwards. Several minutes go by as he focuses on his breathing, on how the ground feels beneath his legs, on all the things Zenyatta has taught him to focus on so that he can center himself.  He feels the edge of his anxiety slip away but he can't quite seem to let it all go, a part of his brain determined to keep thinking about Zenyatta and the mission he's on right now, like a sore tooth his tongue won't just leave alone.  He keeps coming back to how genuinely afraid he is for Zenyatta's safety, to what Mondatta had looked like when he'd died and he can't, no matter how hard he tries to, push that fear away.  

He spends a few more minutes struggling to find some sort of inner calm before he finally gives up and goes back to his room. Once there, he puts back on his usual attire of sweatshirt and cargo pants and grabs his phone.  Thanks to his visor's HUD, he already knows that he doesn't have any new messages but he opens the chat log between him and Zenyatta anyway, scrolling back through their past correspondences in hopes of finding something to ease his mind.  A few minutes of scrolling later though, he's mostly been reminded of Zenyatta's fondness for emojis and his habit of sending Genji every single cute cat video he finds.  Genji reads a particularly emoji laden message from Zenyatta, declaring: ":) I am pleased :) to hear you are well and I eagerly :D await your return!!:D!!" and smiles in spite of himself.  

He sighs and sits down on his bed, trying to resist the urge to text Zenyatta already and failing.  He types out a message, deletes it and then types out another one.  He does that about five times before settling on one that reads: "I hope your trip is going well so far.  It's been awhile since we visited Madrid together but I remember it being beautiful" and hoping that he doesn't sound too pathetic.  He hits send and lays back on his bed, staring at his ceiling as he most certainly doesn't wait for Zenyatta to text him back.  After a few minutes of periodic checking, he closes out of the chat log and sets his phone aside, trying to listen to the sounds of the sea over the din of his mind.  He gives his phone a meaningful look and sighing, gets back to his feet.  He knows he can't just sit around here and let his mind stew, can feel the sharp edge of his anxiety coming back already so he pockets his phone and goes for a run, knowing that at the very least the feeling of his feet pounding on the pavement will give him something else to think about.

***

He's been running hard for an hour (which is one of those things you can easily do when you're ninety percent synthetic), trying his best to not notice the fact that he still hasn't gotten a response for Zenyatta and failing.  He's certain at the very least that Zenyatta's unresponsiveness is not a sign that the worst has happened, knows for a fact that his speech isn't until tomorrow but still, his silence is disconcerting.  It's unlike him to not text back and Genji has to wonder if perhaps there's a reason, something Genji had done that's making Zenyatta want to put a little distance between them.  

Genji thinks back to the hug, how good and right it had felt at the time but also how clingy it had been and how it had made their teammates wait.  It was not their first hug by a long shot, but it was one of their longer ones in recent memory and Genji _had_ held him very close so perhaps that is it.  He remembers the first time Zenyatta had hugged him, how he'd been stunned, unused to being that physically close to anyone he wasn't about to either kill or sleep with.  He'd been crying at the time, the weight of his self hatred and failings having tipped him over the edge and Zenyatta had gone from having one arm around his shoulder to pulling him close and wrapping his other arm around him as if that was a perfectly natural thing to do under the circumstances.  And Genji hadn't known what to do at the time since the last person to have hugged him in a platonic, caring sort of way like that had been Hanzo at their mother's funeral so he hadn't even hugged him back, just sat there and cried in his arms.  There had been many hugs since that and Genji had grown accustomed to them, had found that he really enjoyed the little moments of physical intimacy between him and his teacher.  Had he finally stepped over a line and made a pleasant, shared act of affection a little too much?

Genji shakes his head as he runs and pushes the thought out of his mind.  Zenyatta had not seemed upset about the hug and even if he was, he's not the sort of person to conceal his feelings so there's no way that their parting hug is the reason he hasn't texted Genji back yet.  He must just be busy at the moment, that's the only thing that makes any sense.

Genji looks around and realizes he's near the dormitories again, specifically that he's about to pass the building that hold Zenyatta's room and starts to slow down.  Part of him feels a little guilty as he approaches Zenyatta's empty room but another part of him remembers just how peaceful he'd found it in the past and how Zenyatta had said he is always welcome there.  He steps inside the empty, unlocked room and smiles, taking in Zenyatta's lingering presence as he looks around.  It's a little less tidy than usual with clothes hanging slightly out of drawers and the basket at the foot of his bed that usually holds his orbs slightly eskew but otherwise it is exactly as it normally is.  Genji sits down on Zenyatta's bed and sighs, wishing that he was not alone.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, knowing that he still hasn't heard back from Zenyatta yet but itching to reach out to him again anyway.  One more message after this much time wouldn't be too pathetic he decides as he starts to compose his next message.  After a few false starts, he types out, "I understand that you must be very busy but I was hoping we'd get to speak later this evening if at all possible. Best wishes!" and hits send before he thinks better of it.  A moment later, he hears a chirping noise.  He's just wondering what could have made that noise when he hears it again.  He gets to his feet and starts to look around, his audio sensors telling him that the sound seemed to come from directly beneath him.  He gets down on his knees and looking under the bed, finds the source of the noise: Zenyatta's phone.  He sighs and pulls it out, noting from the lock screen that his text is just the most recent of several texts Zenyatta has missed.  Genji tries to avoid looking at them but still can't help but notice that his own name is followed by an emoji of a small green dragon holding a pearl.  He smiles and sets the phone down on Zenyatta's bedside table, glad to have finally discovered the true reason Zenyatta isn't texting him back.

Genji ends up spending about an hour in Zenyatta room, mostly just sitting on his bed and trying to meditate before he finally gives up on this location as well.  He runs for a bit more, doing nice wide laps of the island perimeter before tired and worn, he returns to his room and hopes that by some miracle he'll be able to sleep well.  Instead, he wakes up gasping, images of Zenyatta shattered, dismantled to his component pieces burned into his mind.  He doesn't go back to sleep after that.

***

Genji spends much of the next day the same way he spend the day before.  He goes places, tries to meditate for a bit and then decides that running is his best option.  He's made several laps of the island and is cutting through the one of the bases many plane hangars when he hears the sound of soft crying from somewhere nearby.  He stops running and turns up his audio sensors, trying to pinpoint the exact location of the noise.  A moment later, he's standing in front of a large shelf filled with boxes and spare engine parts.  He climbs it carefully, checking for an occupant as he goes until he reaches the top shelf and sees the source of the crying: Tracer, her head ducked down, her knees pulled in tight to her chest.

"Is this seat taken?" he says as he pulls himself up to sit beside her on the top shelf.

Tracer's head jolts up as she turns to look at him, then she starts to laugh in spite of her crying.  "Genji, what are you doing here?"

Genji looks at her and tilts his head.  "I was in the area and it sounded like someone needed someone to talk to.  I can still leave if you'd prefer that though-"

"No," Tracer shakes her head and waves her hands, "I mean, I'd rather you not have seen this at all but now that you're here, I could really use the company to be honest."

Genji nods.  "The kind of company that ignores the fact that you're hiding on a shelf crying or the kind that asks you what is wrong?"

Tracer stops midway through wiping at her eyes to stare at Genji.  A moment later, her shoulders fall as she says, "Geez Genji, I don't know."  She wraps her arms back around her knees as she stares at them and then sighs.  "Do you know why I'm still here instead of off on that mission with nearly everybody else?"

Genji squints.  "Because the transport was full? If it hadn't been, I would have been on it no matter what anyone said-"

Tracer shakes her head and chuckles a little.  "Right but what I really meant was why did they send Fareeha, who'd just arrived a few day ago as the pilot when they should have sent me?"

Genji shrugs.

Tracer pulls her legs in even closer.  "Because I fucked up last time and they know it," she whispers nearly too quiet for Genji to hear.

Genji looks at her and then tentatively sets a hand on the middle of her back.  "I doubt anyone but you feels that way about what happened."

"But I did!" Tracer shouts, turning to look at Genji, "I was there and I didn't stop her."

Genji shakes his head.  "It's not as simple a matter as you are making it out to be.  Widowmaker is a talented operative-"

"No Genji, you don't get it," Tracer cuts him off, her eyes beginning to water.  "I could have killed her… I had the shot but I didn't take it!  I- I couldn't bring myself to and now Mondatta is-" Her words get cut off as she chokes down a sob.

Genji is not used to being on this side of things, is always the one who's a mess and needs comforting.  Even when Mondatta had been killed, despite the pain that Zenyatta must have been in, he'd stayed calm and even as ever, the only sign anything was different was his deafening silence.  Genji knows what he needs to do though so he scoots closer to Tracer and wraps the arm that was just touching her back around her shoulders.  "You act as if it is a simple thing, taking a life but I am sure we both know that it is not.  I have done many things that I regret in my life and many of those things are killing.  Only someone truly inexperienced in that field or someone with a heart of ice would tell you it's as simple as pulling the trigger."

Tracer sighs and leans into Genji's side.  "You're right," she mumbles out a few moment later, "both about my experience and it never being easy. It's just," she pauses and sniffs, "I think it's extra hard with her because I sorta knew her back in the day?  Before she joined Talon and stuff.  And she was so quiet, always in the background, always keeping to herself at the fancy office parties.  It's just hard to imagine she's the same woman, you know?"    

Genji nods.  "I understand completely.  People change though and sometimes it is not for the better.  In spite of that though, you should know that neither Mondatta or Zenyatta would hold your compassion against you as it is the very thing they both wish there was more of it this world."

Tracer looks up and Genji and smiles.  "Ahhh geez Genji, anyone ever tell you you're actually pretty good at this whole comforting thing?"

Genji laughs.  "I did learn from the best."

Tracer shakes her head, "And here I am crying all over you and being a horrible friend all while your aforementioned boyfriend is the one who's life is on the line."

Genji hears what she says and feels as if his brain has slowed down.  "What?" he says.

"Oh sorry," she says, "my japanese is really rusty. Do you think you could run that by me again in english?"

Genji shakes his head, unaware that he'd even shifted back and says, "Sorry, I was just asking for clarification.  What do you mean by boyfriend?"

Tracer chuckles, "You know, Zenyatta?  Your best bloke, your datemate, whatever you call each other?"

Genji turns to look at Tracer and then shakes his head.  "Me and Zenyatta are not romantically involved."

Tracer rolls her eyes and waves her hand at him.  "Please, I can tell you're trying to keep it secret but you don't have to hide it from me.  I mean, you have to have read some of my interviews right?  How I'm not going to get married until omnics can too?  You can trust me, I'm on your side."

"I'm- uh," Genji struggles for purchase, awash in the sea of this conversation before finally landing on, "That is very good of you and I agree with your stance but Zenyatta and I are not hiding anything, I promise.  What you see is what we are."

Tracer squints at him.  "Alright but you realize that the reason I think you're together is because of what I've seen, right?"

Genji takes his arm off Tracer's shoulders and sits up straighter.  "Well then you are seeing things that aren't there."

Tracer leans away and frowns.  "Sorry love, didn't mean to offend."

Genji's shoulder fall as he turns to look at her.  "I am not offended. It is not like I am straight or anything like that. You just surprised me is all.  Zenyatta is," he pauses as he tries to think of the right words to encompass all of what Zenyatta is to him, "wonderful really, my favorite person in the whole world. We simply are not like that.  That is all."

"Right," Tracer nods, "sorry still though.  Didn't mean to-"

"It is fine," Genji shakes his head, the beginnings of a new train of thought starting to form in his mind. After all, what is the big difference between his and Zenyatta's current relationship and a romantic one?  They're very close and have been partners of a sort for years now what with their world travels.  All that's missing is romantic feelings and the actions that accompany them.  Genji turns to look at Tracer who is sitting quietly beside him and clears his throat.  "Would you be willing to elaborate as to why exactly you thought we were dating?"

Tracer sits ups straighter and turns to look at him.  "You sure you want to know?"

Genji nods.  "I am very sure."

Tracer sighs.  "Well alright, for one, there was that hug you gave him right before he left-"

"Friends hug," Genji interrupts.

Tracer rolls her eyes.  "Of course I know friends hug, Genji.  I've hugged you, hell you were just hugging me.  It is not that you hugged, it was how you hugged, alright?"  

Genji sighs.  "Sorry please continue."

"It was just… you held him very close and like the last thing you wanted to do in the whole world was let him go.  It just didn't look very friend-sy, okay?"

Genji thinks it over, thinks about how he'd felt almost exactly like that in that moment and nods.  "Alright, is there anything else?"

"Wooo boy," Tracer whistles, "well to be brief, I'll just hit some highlights." She holds up a hand and one finger, "Like how you always gravitate towards each other in a room," she holds up another finger, "how you both seem way happier when the other is around," she adds a third finger, "how you're both always making little excuses to touch each other when there's no real reason," she adds a fourth finger, "the fact that you always seem to be staring at him when he's not looking-"

"Alright, alright I get it," Genji says, the wheels of his mind starting go into overdrive.  "Sorry I just… need a minute to process all of this."

"Right," Tracer smiles, "take all the time you need."

Genji nods.  Could it be that Genji's been missing something obvious this whole time?  That the warm, tight, happy feeling he associates simply with being best friends with Zenyatta, the actual best person in the world, has just been him being in love with him this whole time?  He thinks about Zenyatta, how his very presence comforts him, how he often wishes they were closer and touching, how when he looks at him, he often thinks that he's beautiful before pushing the thought aside, how the thought of not getting to see him every day for the rest of his life fills him with a cold panic.   It's almost like there's been this giant lamp in his favorite room for all this time, casting a certain light over everything but until this very moment, Genji just thought that the light was a natural part of the room.  He sets his head in his hands and sighs.  

"Are you alright?" Tracer says from somewhere nearby.

"I am in love with Zenyatta," he says, turning to look at her, tone even despite his internal screaming.

She cracks a smile and then tries to tone it down, "Sorry just, you know, figured as much really."

"What do I do now? I've never been in love before," he whispers to himself.

"Well, in my experience you just go right up to them and tell them, that's what I did with Emily."  Genji stares at her until she adds, "That's my girlfriend's name so see, there's a 100 percent success rate on this strategy so far."

"Right," Genji says but does not feel convinced.

"I mean, you two are so close and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way so it should work out for sure.  Just be brave and tear off the bandaid so to speak.  Easy." She smiles.

Genji nods.  This is of course the logical solution.  It's been years since he kept any big secrets from Zenyatta and now is no times to start.  He wants to start thinking over the rest of what she's said, how maybe Zenyatta has felt the same way too when she taps him on the shoulder and startles him out of his thoughts.

"Speaking of Zenyatta, his speech should be pretty soon.  We were planning on watching it in the Coms Center if you're interested?"

Genji slaps himself on the visor as his anxiety and terror from before come rushing back, only this time he knows exactly why no amount of logic or meditation can help calm him down.  "Why did I have to figure out I'm in love with him today?"

Tracer chuckles, "Did I mention that I'm sorry?  Because you've been a great friend to me today and I think I might have just made you more miserable and-"

Genji still feels like his heart is being clenched in an iron vice but he turns to Tracer and pats her on the back.  "You have done nothing wrong.  It is better that I know no matter how unpleasant that knowledge is right now."

The corner of Tracer's lips quirk up and she wraps her arms around his neck for a quick hug.  "I meant it earlier when I said that I'm sure he'll be fine.  He has some of the best of the best watching his back and from what I've heard he's no slouch himself."

Genji pulls away and nods.  "Right, he is a very competent fighter actually.  He can even kick my ass most of the time."

"Really?" Tracer smiles, "I'd love to see that."

Genji nods.  "Perhaps when he returns, you will get your chance."

***

They both climb off the shelf and head to the Coms Center a minute later, Tracer's eyes mostly dried by now and Genji's anxiety at an all time high.  He takes a seat amongst the five people still on base and sits on his hands, certain that there's no way he wouldn't fidget with his shuriken or the ribbon attached to the back of his head if he didn't.  He watches as the speaker before Zenyatta warms the crowd up, explaining who Zenyatta is and how important he is to the cause as if anyone who was interest in the topic wouldn't already know.  

A few minutes filled with bursts of excited cheering later, the opening speaker steps down and Zenyatta takes the stage.  He's wearing his dress robes and he walking instead of floating and Genji feels like his whole heart is in his throat because he's so beautiful and he loves him so much and now that he's seen the shape of it, he doesn't know how he missed such an obvious thing for so long. He finds he has trouble paying attention as Zenyatta begins his speech, his terror over losing the most important person in his life stopping his breath and filling his ears with a dull roar.  The speech goes on for what feels like forever though is probably only a few minutes.  At the end, the crowd roars to life as Zenyatta bows and then leaves the stage.  Genji suddenly feels like he can breath again.   _That is it_ , he thinks, mind a little numb, _he is safe now_.  He looks around and everyone is staring at him, including Tracer who is crying as she smiles big and gives him a thumbs up.  Had he made some sort of noise or is everyone just worried about him due to how close he and Zenyatta are?

He smiles at everyone to set their minds at ease but then remembers that with his visor down, no one can see that smile so instead he says, "Wow, what a great speech, right?" and looks around at everyone as if expecting an answer.

Everyone looks at him in silence for a moment longer and then they all start talking at once.  Genji nods as if he's listening but since they're all talking over each other and he can't really remember any of Zenyatta's speech anyway, he can't really participate in the conversation he's started.  He waits until everyone's attention is turned away from him and then slips away, eager to be alone with his thoughts.

He walks back to his room and once he's there, pulls out his phone to text Zenyatta, desperate to reach out to him even in this futile way.  "You looked amazing up there tonight," he types out but immediately deletes, not have the courage to send him that forward of a text even if he won't get it until tomorrow.  He tries again, this time starting to type out, "I love you" before deleting that too.  No way he's going to tell him something that important for the first time in a text.  He sighs, turning message after message over in his mind before finally settling on, "Nice speech!  Glad everything turned out fine.  Can't wait to see you tomorrow!" and hitting send before he thinks better of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late and if there are slightly more errors than normal; I was very busy for the last week and a half and just got this done in time. Thank you again for all the comments and kudos so far! I value them greatly! As always, feel free to swing by [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about Genyatta and their beautiful love! Next chapter will be up in two week though if you follow this AO3 or my tumblr, it's probable you will see one or two little ficlets from me for Genyatta Week coming out before then as well!


	7. Smitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zenyatta returns from his trip and Genji struggles to tell him how he feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so much for the huge delay between chapters. Between Genyatta week, my depression and my initial plan for this chapter to be most of the rest of the story, I fell down on my face for a bit there but I'm hoping to get back to a more normal update schedule now so wish me luck. Also some of you may notice that I edited a few things in chapter 6 since we learned more about Tracer (EMILY) and I wanted to include the canon girlfriend.

The next day, Genji is standing on the tarmac, his eyes trained on the sky, his mind running through what exactly he's going to say to Zenyatta when he finally returns. 

_ Sensei, no... Zenyatta is probably more appropriate in this case actually so,  _ he pauses and lets out a sigh and tries again. _  Zenyatta, I have something important to discuss with you. Wait, that sounds much too grave, as if I am delivering bad news or something.  Tracer believes he will be happy to learn of my feelings so I should frame the information positively so as not to worry him.   _ He shakes his head and then starts over for perhaps the hundredth time since the night before.   _ Zenyatta, in your absence I've come to an important but positive realization and I think-  _

Genji stops mid thought as he catches sight of the rapidly approaching transport, the place where his stomach used to be knotting in apprehension.   _ No time left to practice, _ he thinks as he watches the transport gets closer and closer.  He closes his eyes and turns his thoughts inwards, trying to find some quick peace of mind.  Despite his nerves, he knows that in all actuality he has little to fear.  Zenyatta is understanding to a fault and cares about him greatly so what is the worst that could happen?

Genji opens his eyes and watches as the transport doors open and his teammates spill out onto the tarmac.  Mei steps out first and then McCree, each of them acknowledging him as they get close.  He's just nodding back to McCree as he passes by when he hears Zenyatta call his name.  He turns to look at him and his momentary peace is lost in an instant, his chest clenching from just the mere sight of him.   _ I love him _ , he thinks, wondering how exactly he'd failed to notice such a loud feeling all these years.  He's shaking his head, trying to focus on the present and react like some sort of normal person when Zenyatta floats right up to him, drops his bag and pulls him into a tight hug.

"I am so happy to see you, my student," Zenyatta says from right next to Genji's audio receptors, "I hope you were not too unwell in my absence."

Genji melts a little into the hug before bringing up his arms and hugging him back.  "I am..." _ in love with you _ his brain supplies as the proper ending to that sentence but he ignores it and says, "doing fine.  Better than fine now that you are safe and back."  He squeezes Zenyatta a little closer to him, wanting to bury his face in his neck before realizing what he's doing and letting go instead.  

Zenyatta continues to hold on to him for a moment before letting go as well and then backing up to a more respectable distance.  

Genji sighs.  He hates losing the closeness and yet, he needs to be reasonable about his affections until he knows exactly how Zenyatta feels about him and he knows it.  Instead of moping about it, he grabs Zenyatta's bag and throws it over his shoulder.  "How are you, sensei?  Your mission seems to have gone well."

Zenyatta stares at him for a second, his optical sensors lingering on the strap of his bag before he wrenches his eyes up to Genji's face, holds up a hand and wiggles it back and forth. "I am personally very well but while my speech was well received and no one was harmed, the greater goal of capturing a Talon agent was not successful.  We ended up tipping them off to our presence before my speech even started and they got away."

"I see," Genji nods.  "While I am sorry that you did not get the results you wanted, at least you can be assured that your presence made a difference."

"True," Zenyatta nods, "And I am glad to hear that you were okay in my absence. As soon as I realized that I had forgotten my phone, I feared that my lack of response would cause you to worry even more than you already were but that does not seem to have been the case."

"Well," Genji says, wondering how exactly he should say this, "It did worry me for awhile but I happened upon your phone before much time had actually passed so it was not a big deal."

"Oh I see, how fortuitous!" Zenyatta says, tone bright.  "Where did you happen to find it?" 

Genji looks down at his feet and cringes.  Though he knows he would have been embarrassed under any circumstances, the knowledge that he's in love with Zenyatta casts his actions in a vaguely more pathetic light.  He swallows and looks up to meet Zenyatta's optical sensors.  "It was in your room.  You must have dropped it instead of packing it like you intended."

Zenyatta looks at him and then tilts his head.  "Oh how clumsy of me! I shall have to be more careful in the future."

Genji stares at him, wondering if Zenyatta will comment on him going in his room at all. Instead of waiting though, he says, "I doubt that the blame rest solely on your shoulders since I'm certain that my arrival was quite distracting."

"Nonsense," Zenyatta says, reaching out to touch Genji's bicep, "You are always a welcome presence in my room Genji."  He pauses and his tone becomes wry, "Even when I am not there."

"I am sorry, sensei-" Genji starts to say but Zenyatta cuts him off.

"I meant what I said.  Do not worry yourself as if you are intruding where you do not belong.  You are always welcome in my spaces and I have no secrets from you, my dear student."

For a second, Genji feels comforted, glad that he had not misinterpreted Zenyatta's earlier words until the rest of what he's said starts to sink in and a wave of guilt overcomes him.  No secrets indeed.  "Sen-yatta," he manages to just choke out, "I believe we have- something important to discuss..." His sentence trails off, the important part already sucessful delivered, his nerves bristling with anticipation.  Just rip off the band-aid and tell him.

"Of course," Zenyatta says, nodding evenly, "I have been looking forward to hearing about your trip to Hanamura and your meeting with Hanzo ever since you left.  Would you be willing to walk with me to grab my phone while we discuss this?"

Genji stops and stares, stunned for a moment before shaking himself out of it and saying, "Yes, sensei, I would be happy to."

"Wonderful," Zenyatta says, "now just hand over my bag and we can get on our way."

Genji chuckles and rolling his eyes, starts to walk away.  "What was that, sensei?" he calls over his shoulder, "You want to hear about the death defying duel I had with Hanzo all around Shimada Castle?"  

Zenyatta stares after him and then sighs.  "Such a troublesome student."

"I thought I was your dearest student?" Genji says, his stomach doing a little flip at the words even though Zenyatta had literally just said them.

Zenyatta lets out a little huff and then floats to catch up with Genji, reaching for his bag as Genji pulls it out of his reach.  "There is nothing to say that you can not be both," he mumbles from a spot close by Genji's side.

Genji laughs, a warm feeling growing in his chest.   _ I love him _ , his brain supplies again and he pushes the thought away.  "So where was I, ah yes, fighting Hanzo around Shimada Castle-"

***

Genji tells him everything about his trip.  He tells him about the art he stole back and how he'd  correctly estimated Hanzo's visit disrupting the guards' normal patrol patterns.  He tells him about his fight with Hanzo and how he'd turned his dragons around on him before telling him who he was.  He tells him about how Hanzo's shock had quickly melted away to anger when Genji had said something he didn't like and how Hanzo had sent him on his way with a final parting arrow.  He even tells him about how he'd like to visit Hanamura together someday, certain that he would have said it without even thinking about it before his recent revelation.   

Zenyatta is, as always, a perfect audience.  He listens intently through the whole story, making little noises of shock or distress as they are appropriate and then asks insightful follow-up questions when the story is done.

"Were you hurt greatly by your brother's response?" Zenyatta asks once all their talk of trips and fighting techniques is done.

Genji sighs.  "No, well, not greatly but it would be inaccurate to say it did not bother me either.  I was hoping he would be glad but," he looks down, "perhaps that was too much to expect between the shock and how strained our relationship was before."

Zenyatta reaches out and touches Genji's bicep.  "I do not believe you a fool for hoping for better.  It is hope that gets us through the darkest of times.  It is a shame your brother could not live up to your hope though.  I only wish that he will heed your words and start towards a path of forgiveness and serenity as it sounds like he needs both badly."

Genji chuckles, leaning into Zenyatta's touch and looking into his visual sensors.  "I feel the same."

Genji's trip now thoroughly discussed, the topic switches to Zenyatta's.  He talks about his interactions with their teammates, from his short but polite exchanges with the ever professional Fareeha to his light, joking interactions with McCree that had turned suddenly focused and serious the moment they'd landed.   He talks about the event, all the people he'd met and the few other speakers he gotten to listen to as he'd waited backstage for his turn.

"Would you believe that there are people who look up to me as if I am some sort of religious icon?"  Zenyatta interrupts his own story to interject.

Genji smiles and shakes his head.  "Really? Between the dress robes and the inspiring speech at a big event, why would they do such a thing?" he says, tone sarcastic.

Zenyatta sighs.  "You know what I mean.  It is just that," he pauses, "I have never wanted anything like that.  The blind adoration or to be put on a pedestal.  All I have ever wanted to do was help people.  It is why I left the monastery and yet..."

"I know," Genji says, hesitating before reaching out to touch Zenyatta's shoulder.  "But you can not blame yourself for what others think of you, especially when it comes to people who don't really know you."  

Zenyatta tilts his head. "You are right, Genji.  Thank you. I will try not to worry about it."

"Good," Genji says, "the last thing you need is to worry about more things."

Zenyatta laughs, "Right." 

His laughter trails off and Genji, realizing he's been touching Zenyatta for probably too long, takes his hand away.  

A quiet moment falls between the two of them and Genji thinks maybe he should try to declare his feelings again when Zenyatta says, "You found my speech inspirational, did you?"

Genji pauses, recalling the complete void in his memory where Zenyatta's speech should be and says, "O-of course, sensei, you are always such an eloquent speaker and so wise, how could I not?"

Zenyatta pauses for a moment and then says, "There is no shame in admitting that you did not listen to my speech."

"I- uh," Genji's brain starts to form a lie but then he decides against it, "am sorry, sensei." He bows slightly and then keeps talking directly into his own lap.  "I intended to pay more attention but... things did not work out as I would have hoped."

"Oh Genji," Zenyatta says as he reaches out and pushes on Genji's shoulder until he's looking back up at him.  "I am sorry again to have caused you so much worry."

Genji sits the rest of the way back up and shakes his head.  "It all turned out okay so there is nothing to apologize for.  I just hope that you will give me another chance to hear your speech someday as I am sure it was actually great."

"Well," Zenyatta says, taking his hand back and sitting up straighter, "if you insist..." 

Zenyatta's speech ends up being inspiration just as Genji had guessed.  Genji is rapt in his seat, Zenyatta's beautiful voice curling around him as he speaks of kindness and friendship and personhood.  Of what is good and what is right.  Genji even claps at the end, so moved by his words that he almost forgets that he just an audience of one.  Zenyatta chuckles and mock bows from where he sits.

"Thank you, you have been an excellent audi-" his words get cut off as he hears a cheerful little chime coming from his phone.  "Oh goodness," Zenyatta says, finally reaching over to pick up his phone from where Genji had placed it a few days ago. "It seems I have gotten thoroughly distracted again."  He scrolls through his notification screen and then, without looking up, "I am sorry Genji but I think I need to attend to these now.  Some of these messages seem very concerned for my well being and I had not meant to leave them unanswered for so long.  Is that acceptable?"

"Of course," Genji nods, "do you want me to give you some privacy?"

Zenyatta shakes his head.  "That isn't necessary unless you have somewhere else you would like to be. I have been hoping that once we'd finished our discussions that we would go and meditate together but I can just come find you once I am done if you'd prefer that."

"I can just wait," Genji says, not really wanting to leave Zenyatta's presence at the moment.  "It is not a big deal."

Zenyatta nods and then begins typing rapidly on his phone.   At one point about ten minutes in, Genji hears his phone beep once and then a few seconds later, a second time.  He pulls out his phone to see that despite the fact that he is sitting right next to Zenyatta, Zenyatta has still typed out a response to his earlier texts.

"Madrid was just as beautiful as in the past but it would have been better if you had been there with me.  Perhaps someday we will get to go again together. :)"

"I again am sorry for any distress me forgetting my phone caused you :C  I hope that this situation has the silver lining of you learning that there are very few things in this world that would ever make me not return your texts for such an extended period of time."

_ I love him.   _ Genji stares down at his phone and tries not to blush.   Zenyatta has always been demonstrative, has never minced words when it came to how much he cares for Genji but right now, Genji can't help but hope that his romantic feelings might be at least a little returned.  He reads the texts a few more times before forcing himself to close his phone and put it away.

Genji spends the next half hour trying his best not to stare, his brain running through possible options for how to confess his feelings as Zenyatta finishes up responding to who knows how many messages.  

His task complete, Zenyatta finally looks up from his phone.  "Sorry to keep you waiting.  Would you like to go now?"

"Of course," he says, the rough semblance of a plan in his mind and a nervous feeling in his chest, "Lead the way."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay again and thank you for all the comments and kudos I've gotten so far. I truly appreciate them. As always, feel free to swing by [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and talk to me about Genyatta and their beautiful love. Next chapter will hopefully be up in about two weeks.


	8. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji jumps to a very wrong conclusion and then has breakfast with some friends.

They've been sitting beneath the tree at their favorite spot for half an hour but Genji finds he's having a bit of trouble focusing.  For one thing, he can't seem to keep his eyes closed what with Zenyatta right there and probably distracted enough to not notice his staring.  He's beautiful, all smooth, solid lines, brushed chrome and shining gold and Genji loves every inch of him.  His eyes keep drifting back to the scratches on his faceplate and the little bits of oxidation near his lights.  It is not that he's never noticed these little details before, it's just that at the moment, he's entranced by them, these tiny little imperfections that hint at a long history and a life well lived.  Genji finds that he wants to touch them, wants to run a careful finger along each imperfection, to perhaps lean in and plant a gentle kiss on these blemishes and he wonders what Zenyatta thinks about kissing, what with the whole not having a mouth thing?

He pushes the thought aside to focus on the second reason he's having trouble finding his center: his desire to tell Zenyatta how he feels.  He keeps wanting to bring it up, his guilt over not telling him monting by the minute but everytime he considers breaking the near silence of the sea and Zenyatta's orbs, he freezes, too nervous to actually broach the subject.  

The thing is, despite his realization, everything still feels so natural between them, every touch, every glance, every bit of banter.  Perhaps this is part of why he'd never realized his feelings before, because loving Zenyatta felt so natural, like a logical extension of their platonic relationship and, growing up, Genji had not expected love to be anything like this.  He only vaguely remembers his parent's relationship but it was strained and one of obligation over everything.  He'd always assumed that when it came his time to get married it would be the same, an arranged marriage for an alliance and the sake of the clan.  And so he'd screwed around a lot, had fling after fling because it was fun and his father didn't approve but he never ever let any of those people in because what was the point? His fate was sealed and what was love but a big joke anyway.  But is spite in his expectations and years of isolating his heart, he'd ended up stumbling face first into love and now that he has these feelings, the last thing he wants to do is confess and possibly push Zenyatta away.  And so he waits, hoping that soon he will have the nerve to push back against his mounting fears.

He's staring at Zenyatta, his thoughts a tumult when without moving Zenyatta says, "Is something troubling you?" and nearly scares Genji to death.

"N-no," Genji stutters back, "why do you ask that?"

Zenyatta chuckles and shakes his head.  "You do not have to lie to me if you do not want to talk about it.  I am simply aware of your current discomfort because I know you very well."

Genji thinks about what Zenyatta's just said and the beginnings of an upsetting thought start to take form.  Zenyatta is incredibly good at reading him.  He always knows when Genji's hiding things, knows when he's having an off day or had a bad night's sleep so what are the chances that he hasn't already figured out exactly how Genji feels?  He feels his nonexistent guts drop out, the memory of how sad Zenyatta had sounded when Genji had said that Zenyatta loved him suddenly making perfect sense.  This whole time Zenyatta's known exactly how Genji's felt and he's been hoping he wouldn't push, wouldn't mess up a perfectly wonderful platonic relationship by asking Zenyatta to feel a way he doesn't.  

Genji looks down at his lap, feels his eyes begin to sting with tears and tries to swallow it down.  No matter how bad this realization feels in this moment, the last thing he wants to do is make Zenyatta feel guilty.  His romantic feelings aside, Zenyatta still means the world to him, is probably his best friend so he needs to do his best to keep this is check.  Genji takes in a deep breath and then lets it go.  At the end of the day, he's still Zenyatta's dearest student and that should count for something, even if he doesn't mean it how Genji wishes he did.

"I am sorry that my observation only seems to have made you more upset," Zenyatta says, startling Genji out of his own head.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

Genji's mind scrambles, searching for a passible lie, anything but the truth and settles on, "I was simply thinking of Hanzo again and did not want to burden you," his rough voice betraying just how upset he is.

"Oh Genji," Zenyatta says, floating over to close the gap between them, his arms wide as if to give him a hug.

Genji cringes away without really meaning to, a part of him desperate to not have Zenyatta touch him right now.  He turns back to see Zenyatta's arms lowered, his head tilted in confusion.

"I am sorry, sensei," Genji says to his lap, guilt and heartbreak mixing together to make him feel ill.  In that moment, he wants to tell him everything and yet, knows he wouldn't be able handle Zenyatta's response if he did.  The kind words, the gentle touches, the assurances that Zenyatta loves him, just not in that way, they would all tear him apart and Genji, in spite of all the years spent becoming a better person, would lash out and be a jerk to the last person in the world that deserves it.  "I think... I just need to be alone with my thoughts at the moment."  He gets to his feet and bows.  "Excuse me."  He walks away and though he can feel Zenyatta's eyes on his back, he doesn't turn around.

***

Genji spends the rest of the evening in his room, alternating between crying and feeling like a jerk.  The more he thinks about it, the more the idea of just trying to brute force get over his feelings is laughable.  It had taken him thirty five years and a bond deeper than any other in his entire life to find someone he really loved so trying to move on with any expediency sounds like a rather tall order.  The thing he needs most, he decides, is space (space to clear his head and space to come to terms with the truth) but then again, not so much space as to hurt Zenyatta feelings. It will be a hard line to walk (especially since they've lived in each others pockets for so long) but atleast now that they're both with Overwatch, there will be separate missions to go on and plenty of other people for them to spend time with so he thinks it's workable.  And maybe someday, when the rejection won't sting so much, he'll tell Zenyatta exactly how he feels and Zenyatta will just nod knowingly and thank Genji for putting their friendship first and all will be right between them again.

***

The next morning, with that plan in mind, he doesn't go looking for Zenyatta, instead heading to the mess to see if there is anyone else he can hang out with.  He quickly stumbles upon Tracer and McCree, both of whom are in the middle of their breakfast and a lively discussion.

"I know you've been having a giggle at my expense about the whole pilot's license thing but fess up," Tracer says, pointing her spoon at McCree as she talks, "why after all these years don't you have one?  I know for a fact you'd started the preliminaries before Overwatch broke up so what gives?"

"Right," McCree sighs, "should have been easy because people were just lining up to help a reformed delinquent from the wetworks branch of a disgraced organization get his pilot's license."  He gives her a pointed look.

"Oh," Tracer's face falls for a moment, "Jesse, I'm sorry.  I hadn't thought about it that way."

McCree laughs and waves a hand. "It ain't anything you did, Lena so don't worry your pretty head about it.  I came to terms with my lot in life ages ago."

She looks down and pokes at her cereal for a second before her head snaps up, expression bright.  "You know, with some lessons from me and a few tests, we could finally get you that pilot's license." She pauses and a bit of her bravado falls off, "I mean... if you're interested, that is.  What do you- Genji!" Tracer cuts herself off, finally noticing Genji standing in the doorway. "How did things go with Zenyatta?"

Genji cringes a little and then walks over and sits down besides McCree.  "I have yet to talk to him about it but please do not let me interrupt.  Your conversation seems to be important."

"Not a whole lot left to say actually," McCree shrugs at Genji, "Just need to say yes and pick a time really."

"After breakfast work for you?" Tracer says, her eyes never leaving Genji.

"Sure," McCree nods.

"Right, so where was I? Oh yes," she points her spoon at Genji and frowns, "what happened?  I thought you had a plan?"

"You had a plan," Genji shrugs, "I simply decided that it was an unwise one."

"Why would you do that?" she shakes her head.  "Remember? 100% success rate."

"Wait a minute," McCree says, eyes narrowing, "You and Zenny have a fight or something?"

Genji shakes his head.  "No, nothing like that-"

"Why didn't you tell him Genji?" Tracer cuts him off, frustration obvious in her tone.

Genji sighs.  "I am just not as certain as you are that my," he pauses, considering his words, "news will be well received."

"Come on now," McCree says, eyebrow raised, "no matter what the news is, you should know better than to keep stuff like that from your partner, especially after all the years you two have been together."

Genji groans and puts his face in his hands, unsure of whether McCree thinks he and Zenyatta are together as well or if he's just using the word "partner" colloquially like cowboys do in old westerns.

"I'm really missing something, aren't I?" McCree mumbles to Tracer.

"Do you want to tell him or should I, love?" Tracer says, her smile audible even though Genji isn't looking at her.

Genji takes a deep breath and then takes his head out of his hands and turns to McCree.  "While I am uncertain of how you are using the word partner in this instance, I think you should know that despite our years traveling together, it would be incorrect to say Zenyatta and I are together in any way beyond platonic."

McCree blinks back at him and then looks at Tracer out of the corner of his eye.  "He's being serious, ain't he?"

"Yup," Tracer nods, "Really throws you for a loop, right?"

"A bit, yeah," McCree says, looking at Genji as if he's reevaluating him. "They just seemed so… together, you know?"

"I am still right here," Genji sighs, an edge of annoyance just barely audible in his tone.

"Sorry, Genji," McCree says with an apologetic smile. "It wasn't right of me to make assumptions about you and Zen."  He pauses as a look of realization dawns on his face. "That's what you're not telling him though, ain't it?  About your feelings for him?"

Genji considers lying for a moment and then decides against it.  It is not like they don't already know. "You are correct," he says, shoulder falling.

"I knew I wasn't seeing things."  McCree points a finger at Genji and grins then, noticing Genji's still slumped shoulders, reigns his expression back in. "Sorry... again."

"It is fine," Genji sighs, "I am glad that atleast someone can find amusement in this situation because I certainly can not."

Tracer reaches across and touches his bicep for a moment before pulling her hand back.  "We're not making fun of you, love, we swear."  McCree nods and she continues, "We're both just... really surprised that two people who seem to love each other as much as you two do aren't together, you know?  That's why I advocate just talking to him and sorting this whole mess out."

Genji knows she's trying to comfort him but her words just make his non-existent stomach feel like it's dropping out. He swallows and tries to push past the feeling.  "The thing you both seem to not understand is that Zenyatta truly loves everyone.  All of his friends, every monk at the monastery, every student he's ever taken on, and even every person he's ever greeted warmly in the street; he loves them all and wants the best for each and every one of them.  While our bond is deep due to how long we've known each other, his treatment of me is not as special as you assume, believe me."

"Now hold on," McCree says just as Tracer says, "You really believe that?"  They exchange a look between each other and McCree tips his hat at her.  "Ladies first."

Tracer smiles at him and then narrows her eyes back at Genji, "I just… really Genji?  You don't think there is even a little chance that the guy who joined Overwatch with you might be harboring romantic feelings for you?"

McCree nods.  "Couldn't have said it better myself.  I honestly think you're causing yourself a whole lot of hurt over nothing."

Genji really wants to believe them, wants it to be possible that Zenyatta loves him specifically out of all the people he's let into his heart but it just doesn't make sense.  After all, why would a beautiful soul like Zenyatta love a mess like him.  He shakes his head.  "You two simply don't know him like I do."

"Don't know who, Genji?" a warm, synthetic voice says from the doorway behind him.

Genji freezes for a second then slowly turns to the door, aware of both Tracer and McCree's gazes shifting between him and Zenyatta in rapid succession.  The moment Genji's eyes meet Zenyatta, he feels his chest clench but he ignores it.  "I was speaking about you sensei."  He pauses as he tries to find a serviceable lie.  "Neither of them believed me when I told them about your habit of sending me cute cat videos whenever you find them."

Zenyatta chuckles.  "I can confirm that I have a fondness for cats and other small creatures and often send videos of them to Genji in hopes of brightening his day.  Is that so strange?"

There's a short silence followed by Tracer and McCree talking over each other in a cacophony of "no"s and "nah"s.

Tracer trails off and McCree adds, "Just was a bit surprised someone as uh, spiritual as you would spend much time on the internet, that's all."

Zenyatta laughs again and as usual, it is a beautiful sound. "The internet is a powerful tool that delivers information at the blink of an eye, allows loved ones to keep in touch over great distances and hosts a variety of content both beautiful and joyous.  What is not to like about it?"

"See, makes perfect sense now that you've explained it," Tracer says.  "Sorry to have doubted you, Genji."

He turns around to look at her, trying to ignore the guilt he feels at making them lie for him. "It is no problem."

"So what brings you to the mess hall anyway?" McCree says, tone casual.

"I simply was looking for Genji," Zenyatta says, tone warm.  "I wanted to see how he was and if he was free to keep me company while I work on my chores this morning."

Tracer gives Genji a pointed look but he ignores her and turns back around to face Zenyatta.  For a second, he considers just going with him, giving in to the pull in chest that desperately wants to be near Zenyatta and to hell with the pain it will cause him but he has a plan and he needs to stick to it if he wants to save their friendship.  "I am doing well, sensei but I am sorry to say that I have already agreed to help Tracer this morning."

"Oh," Zenyatta says, his shoulders falling, "I see."

There's a pause and then Tracer says, "Sorry Zenyatta, Genji just needs to help me with the plane… thing.  Maintenance, yeah.  Sorry," she yawns, "It's too early and I miss Emily's tea. Also Emily though her being here definitely wouldn't help get me out of bed any easier, if you know what I mean." She chuckles.

"Nice," McCree says, holding up his cybernetic hand.

Genji hears Tracer smack her own hand against the metal one and then curse.  "Bloody hell, Jesse, you did that on purpose!"

McCree chuckles.  "That never gets old."

"You will need to be more careful, Lena." Zenyatta says with a soft chuckle.  "Have you not noticed that you are the only one in the room who does not have a metal hand?"

"Huh, I hadn't actually," she says, tone chipper, "though I'm not surprise now that you mention it, what with the line of work we're all in."  Genji looks at her over his shoulder and sees her knock on her chronal accelerator, "Not a normal one in the lot of us."

"I do not know what your talking about," Genji says, barely containing a snicker, " I am perfectly normal.  Did you not know that white and green are both very in right now?"

For a moment, everyone struggles not to laugh but they quickly give in.  Genji grins in spite of himself, his eyes scanning the group until they settle themselves on Zenyatta.  He's always loved Zenyatta's laugh and made a point to try and crack him up but now, instead of just feeling pleased with the result, he's enthralled by it, his mechanical heart clenching in his chest.  He tries not to stare and fails as Zenyatta kicks his feet, his shoulders shaking with the force of his laugh.   _I love him,_ his brain reminds himself and he tells his brain to fuck off.  

Zenyatta's laugh starts to trail off and his visual sensors come to rest on Genji.  For a second, Genji meets his gaze, his non-existent stomach in his throat before he pulls his eyes away and looks at McCree instead.

"I should probably be getting to my tasks, actually but it was nice to speak with you all."  Zenyatta starts to turn to go, his visual sensors still trained on Genji then pauses.  "Genji, I hate to ask again but do you think it is possible that you may have some free time later this afternoon instead?"

Genji pauses, but quickly decides that it would be too much to blow Zenyatta off twice in one day.  "I should be free by then so I shall come and seek you out."

"Wonderful," Zenyatta says, a smile obvious in his tone, "I shall most likely be waiting at our usual mediation spot."  He looks around at everyone and then settles his gaze on Genji.  "Peace be upon you all," he holds up a peace sign with one hand and then turns around and floats away.

There's a long silence as they all wait for Zenyatta to get far enough away and then McCree slaps him upside the head with his metal hand.

"Hey-" Genji starts to protest but McCree cuts him off.

"You're the dumbest man I've ever met and I've know myself for nearly three decades.  I'm no expert on omnic body language but I'm pretty sure he's got feelings for you."

Genji opens his mouth to refute but Tracer is already talking.  "Leave him alone, Jesse, he's hopeless," she sighs.  "If he can't tell even from that then there's no convincing him."

"Thank you, Tracer," Genji says as he starts gets up from the table. "I just need a little space-"

"Where do you think you're going?" Tracer says and stops him dead in his tracks.

"I'm sorry?" Genji says, turning back to look at her.  "What do you mean?"

"You said you were going to help me with maintenance and I'm going to hold you to it."

"Ahhh," Genji says, "but were you not going to help McCree work on getting his pilot's license?  Won't I just get in the way?"

Tracer thinks about it for a moment and then shakes her head. "Nah, I can do both.  Plus, you owe me.  You made me lie to Zenyatta and he's the nicest person I've ever met."

"I see," Genji says, "my apologies." He bows his head.  "Feel free to use me however you wish."

"I don't think she's interested," McCree says in a mock stage whisper.

"Surely after everything that has transpired here, you both know I did not mean it that way." Genji looks between both of them with a glare.

Tracer and McCree both burst into laughter.  Genji's shoulders fall and then Tracer tries her best to rein herself in.  "I'm sorry Genji, you're just a little dramatic sometimes.  It can make it hard to take you seriously."

Genji sighs.  "You think I'm dramatic, wait until you meet my brother."

"You really think he'll show?" McCree says between chuckles.

"I am unsure but I would like to hope he will," Genji says, looking down at the table.  The last of their laughter tapers off and then he looks up at Tracer.  "Anyway, I am ready to go whenever you are."

"Just give me a tick," Tracer says, looking down at her incredibly soggy cereal. She stirs the mush and then sighs.  "Nevermind, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of trouble with this one but it's done and on time so that's something. Anyway, thank you so much to every single one of you that has commented on or kudosed my fic. It really means the world to me. Special mention goes out to Camrazstuff for drawing an adorable comics of the final scene from chapter 3 which can be found [here](http://camrazstuff.tumblr.com/post/156048234851/hey-so-all-of-u-should-go-read-knaccfornerdiness). As always, feel free to swing by [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about genyatta and their beautiful love! Next chapter should be up in two weeks and it's going to be a doozy!


	9. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come to a head as Genji tries his best to not let his romantic feelings affect his relationship with Zenyatta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the long delay on this chapter. My depression has been really getting me down recently and this chapter is very important (as you will see) so it took me awhile to write it.

Genji ends up helping Tracer and McCree all morning.  He hadn't been wrong that his presence would be a bit of a hinderance to their primary goal of getting McCree his pilot's license but Tracer finds ways to make use of him all the same.  He ends up handing them tool after tool as they work on the plane's engine and Tracer refreshes McCree on the basic components they’re currently working on.  They don't bring up Zenyatta again (thankfully) but they try to not exclude him completely, with McCree asking him questions about Hanamura whenever he and Tracer take a break.  He seems rather well acquainted with Genji's hometown and Genji wonders why but doesn't push the matter when McCree answers with a simple, "My work with Blackwatch took me lots of places.  You know how it goes."  

Halfway through the morning, Fareeha shows up, saying that she'd heard what they were working on and didn't want to miss an opportunity to show Jesse the ropes.  Of all the people here besides Brigitte, Fareeha is the one he knows the least about since she wasn't a part of Overwatch in the past and therefore doesn't have a file.  She holds herself stiff and at attention like a career soldier but then she'll look at McCree and get a mischievous glint in her eye before she tells some horrible joke or yanks on his chain.  It's obvious they've know each other for years, much longer than McCree and Tracer and he wonders what their story is.  

Around noon, Tracer turns to Genji and says, "Well thanks for your help but we need to take a break for lunch and I think you've been avoiding him long enough, don't you?"

Fareeha looks from Tracer to Genji and then at McCree as if he'll give her an answer but he just shakes his head.  "You know I'd tell you if I could but honestly it's not my place."

"Thanks-" Genji starts to say before McCree cuts him off.

"I am going to say this though and whether you want to listen or not is your own choice." McCree steps in closer until there is barely a foot between them and then looks him in the eyes and claps him on the arm. "If you love someone, I mean really love them, you should tell them and often because you never know which goodbye could be your last." 

Genji just blinks up at him, stunned by his tone and the serious look in his eyes, as if this advice comes from personal experience. "I will try to keep that in mind," Genji finally mutters back after an awkward silence.

That seems to be enough for McCree as he nods and then slaps Genji on the arm twice.  "Good," he smiles, "I'm sure if you do, things will work out just fine."

Genji nods and then backing away, turns to Fareeha and Tracer and bows.  "Thank you for the… educational morning.  I will see you all later."

Pharah nods and Tracer makes a vague shooing motion with her hand, saying, "If I find out you blew him off, I'm going to chase you down Genji Shimada."

Genji, against his better judgment, chuckles.  "You do know that I am rather fast, don't you?"

Tracer laughs and shakes her head.  "You may be fast but nobody's faster than me," she says, knocking on her chronal accelerator to emphasize her point.

"You will have to show me sometime then," Genji says, "though not today as I have no intentions of missing my appointment."

"Good," she smiles, "then get going!"

Genji bows to them all one last time and then turns to go, his mind already steeling itself for the task at hand.

When he arrives at their meditation spot a few minutes later, he's immediately stunned to the spot by what he sees.  Zenyatta is balanced on one leg, his other stretched up behind his back, his back arched with his hands clasped around his extended leg.  He's beautiful, so graceful and strong.   _ And flexible,  _ a corner of his mind long dormant adds as he starts to blush.

"Oh Genji," Zenyatta says, releasing his leg and returning his body to a more normal posture, "just the person I was hoping to see.  How did assisting Lena with the plane maintenance go?"

Genji's still thinking about how good Zenyatta had just looked so it takes him a moment to stutter out, "It- uh, went rather well.  I ended up learning much more about planes than I anticipated."

"Fascinating!" Zenyatta says, clasping his hands together in glee.  "Perhaps I will have to offer my assistance to Lena at some point in the future so that I too can learn more about how engines work."

_ He's so cute,  _ Genji thinks and then pushes the thought aside.  He's going to need to learn to reign his thoughts in when it comes to Zenyatta if his plan is going to work at all.  "I am certain that Tracer would be more then willing to accept your help whenever you decide to offer it, sensei.  Speaking of morning activities, how did your chores end up going?"

"They went very well.  I was able to get the floors in the meeting room cleaned and waxed much quicker than I expected so I ended up doing a few more rooms and chatting with Winston as I did so.  He still seems rather overwhelmed with all the responsibility restarting Overwatch has heaped upon his shoulders but I think he is doing rather well considering."

"I agree," Genji nods, "I will have to make a point to thank him for his efforts in the near future."

"An excellent idea," Zenyatta says and then clasps his hands together, "Anyway, now that you are here, I was hoping that you could help me with something." 

"Of course, sensei, what can I do for you?"  Genji says, a part of him nervous for what exactly his request will be.

"I was hoping that you would spar with me seeing as we haven't since we arrived at Watchpoint: Gibraltar and I hate to get any more rusty than I already am," he says, putting only the slightest bit of emphasis on the word rusty as he says it.

Genji finds himself snickering without really meaning to, Zenyatta's horrible sense of humor as usual amusing him against his better judgement.  "Certainly," he says as he tries to reign in his laughter, "let me go to my room and grab my practice swords." While sparing is perhaps not the most ideal activity at the moment due to the closeness it requires, it is both one of the oldest components of their association and a much less horrible request than other possible options (such as Zenyatta just asking him to fess up about why he's been acting so weird). 

Genji turns to go and Zenyatta reaches out and touches him on the bicep.  "That will not be necessary since I would like to focus on hand to hand today if that is alright with you?"

Genji freezes, the combination of Zenyatta's touch and his request making him suddenly very nervous.  He and Zenyatta have fought hand to hand many times in the past but that was before Genji knew how he felt, before the very idea of touching Zenyatta made his non-existent stomach do flip-flops.  He wants to say no, but he already ignored Zenyatta this morning so he can't really bring himself to blow him off again.  "Of course," Genji nods, stepping back and breaking Zenyatta's hold on him, "allow me to just get rid of my clothes and I will be ready to go."

"Wonderful!" Zenyatta says, his tone bright. "And I will set my orbs beside your clothes so as to keep them out of the way."

Genji pulls off his hoodie and folds it neatly before setting it on the ground, his nerves shaking his hands and keeping him from looking at Zenyatta as he speaks.  "Are you certain that you do not want to use them?" he says, the wild hope of keeping Zenyatta further away crossing through his mind. "Your orbs are nearly as much a part of you as my synthetic muscles are now a part of me and I'd rather we have a fair fight."

"Nearly is the key word there as my orbs are more multipurpose tools than a body part even if I do put a little bit of my soul into them every time I use them.  And you act is if a fight is purely a physical contest where only the strongest can win when we both know that to be untrue.  How else would it be possible that I have beaten you many times in the past otherwise?"

Genji chuckles despite his disappointment as he finishes slipping out of his pants and sets them on top of his sweatshirt.  A moment later, Zenyatta's orbs come to rest on top of the newly made pile like chicks nestling into a soft nest.  Genji turns back to look at Zenyatta and he's still on his feet, tall and graceful and beautiful.  Genji often forgets that Zenyatta is taller than him since he usually floats just below Genji's chin so it takes him a moment to adjust where he's looking as he tries to meet Zenyatta's optic sensors.  "You make a fair point," he says, moving until he's standing across from Zenyatta and bowing.  "I am ready to begin testing your conclusion whenever you are."  He sounds cocky and he knows it but it's just a reflex, a defense mechanism he'd built up in his youth to deal with whenever he felt uncomfortable, just like lying or flirting.

Zenyatta cocks his head at him.  "Are your words simple boasting or have you recently changed your mind about the value of might over other skills?"

Genji sighs and looks down at his feet in shame.  "The first one, sensei.  I am," he pauses, searching for a good answer and failing, "just having a really off day."

"I see," Zenyatta nods, "then perhaps sparring is an even better idea than I originally thought."  Zenyatta bows and then shifts into a ready stance.  "Allow me to help you clear your mind."

Genji swallows and then nods.   "Indeed," he says, still completely unsure of how he'll manage this without acting like a smitten fool.  He bows for a final time and then lowers his center gravity as he paces and takes in his opponent.  As usual, Zenyatta is keeping his distance and watching Genji, waiting for him to take the first move so he can counter it.  Genji grits his teeth and then sighs.  The only option is to attack and try to keep his feelings as far from his mind as he can.

He coils his legs and in an instant he's beside Zenyatta, striking out with an open palm to the side of his neck.  Except he pulls the hit at the last second and Zenyatta easily deflects it before following it up with a gentle thwack with the back of his hand to Genji's neck.

"Focus," Zenyatta says, his voice low but teasing.

Genji nods and backing up, begins to circle around again, looking for an opening where none really exists.  Zenyatta is just too defensive and aware, his optical sensors always trained on Genji as he makes sure to not expose his back.  Under normal circumstances, Genji would try to wear him down with quick light attacks from all sides before ever going for the final blow but as is, he'd rather be in this fight for as little time as possible.   _ All out it is _ , he sighs, ducking his head and bursting past Zenyatta in one quick motion.  He turns, arm coiled and ready to strike just in time to see Zenyatta already starting to turn to face him.  Genji knows he only has one shot to not get this deflected, one chance to hit him hard and true so he tries his best to focus, to not think about how he'd much rather be running his hands along Zenyatta's firm, perfect torso then hitting it right now and… whiffs entirely.

Zenyatta watches as Genji's hand flies by and due to this momentary distraction, Genji is able to land a light, quick blow.  He follows it up immediately with a second, stronger attack that Zenyatta easily deflects.

"If this is you focusing, then perhaps it is on the wrong thing," Zenyatta chuckles as he turns two more hits from Genji away.

Genji feels himself begin to blush at Zenyatta’s teasing and drops down and spins to sweep at Zenyatta's legs rather than respond.  Zenyatta jumps over the attack easily and then floats there for a second before returning to the ground.

Genji rises from his crouch and springing backwards, grumbles, "That hardly seems fair."

"And yet earlier you wanted me to use my orbs.  Your definition of fair seems rather nebulous today."

Genji sighs and holds his tongue, knowing that to admit why he wanted Zenyatta to use his orbs is to admit the very thing he's trying to avoid talking about.

Zenyatta tilts his head as his optical sensors take Genji in. "I am sorry for teasing you.  It seems I have underestimated just how out of sorts you are.  Let us call this first attempt a warm up and then start again, shall we?"  He nods and then turns his back to Genji.

Genji's mind races, a part of him considering using this golden opportunity to try and beat Zenyatta in hopes of getting out of sparring for the day.  _  If I cheat _ , he thinks,  _ Zenyatta will probably pause our sparring to lecture me for lacking honor. _  He watches Zenyatta's back for half a second more, a small part of him knowing that this is a bad idea before, pushing that thought aside, he sprints at Zenyatta at full speed.  He catches up not a moment later, putting his leg in front of Zenyatta's and reaching up to push him over it.  The second his hand contacts Zenyatta's back though, Zenyatta is turning, slamming his upper arm into Genji's chest hard enough to knock him back.  Zenyatta carries the motion through and before Genji knows it, he's on his back with Zenyatta straddling his waist and shaking his head at him.

"That was lacking in both valor and forethought," Zenyatta chuckles. "Would you mind telling me what you were thinking?"

Genji just stares up at him, feeling the weight of Zenyatta's butt and thighs near his groin and freezes as his thoughts turn to the circumstances under which he wishes Zenyatta was straddling him.  He feels himself begin to blush, glad at the very least that he's incapable of getting an awkward boner and tries to reign his thoughts in.

"Genji?" Zenyatta says, tone concerned. "Are you okay?  Did you hit the ground too hard?"

"I…" Genji stalls, trying very hard to focus his attention on anything but the points where Zenyatta is touching him and mostly failing. "I am fine.  I was just surprised is all." 

"Oh," Zenyatta nods, "then would you be willing to inform me as to why you attempted such a dirty trick during a friendly sparring match?  I am truly perplexed by your actions."

"Well, I..."  _ was just trying to avoid this very situation,  _ his brain adds unhelpfully.  He ignores it and struggling to find a serviceable lie, says, "You said you were worried about being rusty and I just wanted to make sure to keep you on your toes.  You never know when an assailant is going to strike."

"I see," Zenyatta says, his hand coming up to cup his chin, his ass resting on Genji's groin more completely as he relaxes. 

Genji barely holds in a squeak as his body reminds him that while he can't get a boner, he can still very much become aroused.  He feels his body heat rise as he recalls one of the few times he'd seen Zenyatta without his pants.  At the time, it had felt intimate to see this private, rarely glimsed sight but not in the least sexual especially since Zenyatta had not been built to be sexually compatible with humans.  Zenyatta hadn't been built to be a lot of things he was entirely capable of though, and Genji (whose sexual experience with omnics is zero), wonders how exactly he would make love to Zenyatta if Zenyatta wanted him to.  

With a barely caught word and a tilt of Zenyatta's head, Genji realizes that while he's been thinking incredible inappropriate thoughts about his best friend in the entire world, Zenyatta had been speaking.  Shame fills Genji's brain as he tries to stop imaging Zenyatta in erotic positions and focus on the now.  "Excuse me, sensei, I... uh missed that."  

"Your brain is entirely somewhere else today, isn't it Genji?" he chuckles and then without waiting for a response, says, "I was simply saying that I see merit in your goals despite the unorthodox nature of your plan."  

Zenyatta's thighs squeeze around Genji's lower torso absently and with a hot stab of lust, Genji knows he can't let this continue any longer.  With a heave and a twist, Genji switches it around so that Zenyatta is now pinned both by Genji's weight and by him holding Zenyatta's wrists above his head, a choice that leaves Genji's face very close to Zenyatta's.  He blinks down at Zenyatta's faceplate, his mind starting to panic.

"Exactly like that," Zenyatta says, his voice amplified by his closeness, "You noticed that I was completely unguarded and you took advantage of the situation.  A firm but valuable lesson."

Genji wonders what to say, considers nodding before remembering that nodding would knock the top of his helmet into Zenyatta's face so he just stares at him, a part of his brain hyper aware of how short a distance he'd have to cover to kiss him if his helmet were off.  His panic mounts, his brain desperate for some escape and then in an instant, he's up, off of Zenyatta and headed towards his room without a word.  He can hear Zenyatta calling after him but he doesn't slow down and he doesn't stop.

Once he's back at his room, he locks the door and leans against it, feeling a combination of shame and lust buzzing through his brain.  All he needed to do to maintain their friendship was to keep his cool, to continue to treat Zenyatta with the same respect and kindness he had in the past and he couldn't do it.  He'd let his stupid feelings win and he'd been awful to Zenyatta because of it, all awkward and bizarre.  He knows Zenyatta will forgive him for it because of course he will but Genji's not sure he wants to be forgiven, not when the cause is still so viscerally a part of him. He slides down the door until he's sitting on the floor, more aroused than he's been in years and not sure what to do about it.  He's considering digging the implement Dr. Zigler gave him for just this purpose out of his bag so he can just masterbate and be rid of it but realizing that there's basically no way he can do that without thinking about Zenyatta, decides against it.  He thinking about using his room's shower to take a very cold one instead when he hears a knock on the door.

"Genji, are you here?" Zenyatta's worried voice calls through the door.  He waits a moment and and when Genji doesn't say anything he continues, "If you are, I would very much like to speak with you."

Genji sighs but doesn't say anything, certain that the last thing he want to do right now is talk about how he's feeling.

"I understand if you do not wish to speak with me though," Zenyatta says after a long moment.  "That is your choice and I respect it."  He's quiet for a beat and Genji thinks he might be done but then he adds, "It is just… I am very worried about you.  I can not figure out what is troubling you in the least and I fear that it might be something I have done.  If that is true," he lets out a mechanical sigh, "I would prefer you telling me what I have done so that I can attempt to make amends rather than leaving our relationship as strained as it is at the moment... but again, it is your choice whether you wish to speak with me or not and I will accept your decision either way."

Zenyatta's voice trails off and Genji feels a cold pit open up where his stomach used to be.   _ He doesn't know why I'm upset?  _ Genji thinks, turning this revelation over in his mind until he comes to the obvious conclusion that it's possible that Zenyatta doesn't know how he feels at all.   _ Even if he does _ , he sighs, _ it's clear that my attempts to shield him from my feelings are only hurting him, making him feel as if he's done something wrong when it is I who am entirely at fault.   _ Genji grits his teeth, and then in one fluid motion, gets up and unlocks the door, certain that this will hurt but knowing that to continue hurting Zenyatta with his immaturity would hurt so much more.

Zenyatta looks up at him from his usual floating height and says, tone even, "Hello Genji, are you here to tell me to leave or do you wish to speak?"

"The latter," Genji says, looking down at his feet, "though I am unsure of what you will think of me once I have said my peace."  He backs out of the doorway and then gestures for Zenyatta to come inside.

Zenyatta floats past him until he's resting in the relatively narrow space between Genji's bed and the wall holding the door.  "Genji, there is nothing you can say that will cause me to think less of you.  You are very important to me and you always will be."

A wave of guilt ripples through Genji at Zenyatta's kind words but he shoves the feeling down and closes the door.  _ Time to rip off the band-aid _ , he thinks letting out one last steadying breath before he drops to the floor in front of Zenyatta, assuming the dogeza position. 

"Is that truly necessary?" Zenyatta asks, tone concerned.

"Yes," Genji says, "for I am ashamed and I must apologize to you for my horrible mistake."

"I am certain that nothing you've done could be so extreme as to warrant this."

"Please, sensei," Genji says, voice cracking a little, "just let me explain and then you can say whatever you want, okay?"

"Of course, I am sorry to interupt when you are being so kind as to confide in me."

"Thank you," he half whispers to the floor.  For a second, a cowardly fear grips him and he considers not telling Zenyatta the truth but he can't, not after all their years spent together, all the honesty and openness and care that had built up between them.  Zenyatta deserves to hear the truth, even if he already knows it and Genji is going to give it to him. 

"I did not mean for this to happen," Genji starts, his voice feeling unsteady in his own mouth.  "My mistake, such as it is, started as a small thing.  So small and so effortless in fact that I did not notice it for years and once I had, it was far too late to reverse it.  I am ashamed that I have not handled my mistake better and I am afraid that both my mishandling and the mistake itself will ruin what we have because... you mean the world to me."  He hears his voice crack but he pushes on.  "I could never imagine a better teacher or friend than you Zenyatta and the thought of losing you as a part of my life is devastating to me.  But you deserve to know the truth, even if it will harm our relationship and so I will tell you."  He takes in a deep breath and then says, "I love you, Zenyatta, with all my heart and I am sorry to burden you with my clumsy, foolish romantic feelings."  Genji feels his eyes sting with tears and he closes them, trying to prepare himself for Zenyatta's response.

"Are you done?" Zenyatta says, tone forcefully even.

"Yes, sensei," Genji swallows.  He hears the sound of Zenyatta landing on the ground and then feels his hands on his shoulders, guiding him to sit up.  He does and sees that Zenyatta's orbs are bouncing soundlessly around him.

"Genji," he says, shaking his head, "my dearest student and friend, how could you possibly not know that I have loved you for a very, very long time?"

"What?" Genji blinks, his mind turning over Zenyatta's impossible words.

"Your feelings could never be a mistake, even if I did not return them, but I do, with all that I am." He moves his hand from Genji's shoulder to his faceplate, "I love you, Genji Shimada."  

Genji feels like he's melting or his heart's about to burst as the full extent of Zenyatta's words hits him.  "Oh," he says, still too stunned to say anything articulate. The realization that if he takes off his faceplate then Zenyatta's hand will be on his face hits him and so he reaches around, hands shaking as he fumbles with the latches until his faceplate falls away under Zenyatta's hand.  

Zenyatta watches it fall and then returns his gaze to Genji, his hand still floating beside Genji's head.  "Is this okay?" he asks, shaking the hand floating near Genji's face.  "I do not want to make you uncomfortable-"

"Why do you think I took off my faceplate?" Genji says, putting his hand on the back of Zenyatta's hand before pushing his check into it and sighing.  "I have wanted this desperately," he rubs his check against Zenyatta's firm, slightly warm palm, "for longer than I have even known."  He closes his eyes and the last remnants of his earlier tears fall down his face.

"You are crying," Zenyatta says, wiping away a tear with his thumb. "Are these happy tears or did you truely not know how I felt until right now?"

"Of course I did not know!" Genji's eyes fly open and he shakes his head.  "I feel like my weird behavior for the last few days and the speech I just gave made that abundantly clear.  What in the world made you think I knew?"

Zenyatta glances down without taking his hand away and his orbs' even, happy bouncing becomes slightly jerky.  "I was just so obvious," he says to his lap, "No matter how hard I tried to treat you as if my feeling were truly platonic, I always failed.  In fact, almost all my friends and students knew: my siblings in the Shambali, Mary in San Francisco and Daniela from Trujillo among others... even Dr. Mei-ling Zhou and she's only known us for a few weeks."

"Just because it was obvious to other people does not mean it was obvious to me-" Genji starts to say before Zenyatta cuts him off. 

"Then why did you tease me about it," his head snaps up to look at Genji, "that one time before you left to meet up with Hanzo?"

"I did not!" Genji stares at him wide eyed, Zenyatta's sad tone back then suddenly making tons of sense. "I was just…cracking a poorly thought out joke about how much you care about me and... being a little shit."  He sighs.  "I knew it was the wrong thing to have said immediately but I had no idea why at the time."  He reaches out his free hand and puts it on Zenyatta's face.  "I am sorry to have hurt your feelings back then but I swear I was not mocking you."

Zenyatta rubs his thumb along Genji's cheek as he pushes his face into Genji hand.  "I believe you... I am just surprised that you really could not tell.  All the praise, the lingering touches, the time I said you'd fit nicely in my bed?"

Genji chuckles, his cheeks heating up as he remembers the comment in question.  "I can honestly say I interpreted the first two as just your kind nature at work and the last one as your horrible, odd sense of humor."  

"I see," Zenyatta chuckles, "how curious."

Genji shrugs and pushes his face into Zenyatta's hand, revelling in the feeling of the smooth metal on his skin. "Is it any more curious than someone who is as good at reading people as you not being able to determine that their best friend is in love with them?" he says, raising an eyebrow and quirking a smile.

"Oh!" Zenyatta stops chuckling, his orbs' happy dance stuttering for a moment as he considers his answer.  "It is not that I did not notice things... little things here and there that made me think-"  He pauses and looks down at his lap.  "It is just that I thought I was just seeing what I wanted to see, interpreting innocent platonic actions as something more because I wanted it to be true so desperately." He sighs and as his shoulder falls, his hand does as well.

"Oh Zenyatta," Genji says, moving the hand on Zenyatta's face to beneath his jaw so he can tilt his face back up, "you act as if up until just this very moment, the idea of me returning your feelings was a ludicrous one to you.  As if you aren't one of the wisest, kindest and most beautiful people I've ever met." Genji looks into Zenyatta's optical sensors and smiles.  "I'm so blessed."

"Genji, please," Zenyatta says, one hand on his face, the other flapping at Genji as if to bat his compliments away. "It is not nearly a tragic as you assume.  I am confident in my value, in my strengths and skills but that does not mean I assumed someone like you, no matter how close we are, would consider me as an appealing romantic partner."

"What do you mean someone like me?" Genji squints and tilts his head, pulling back his hand.  "You can not think after all this time that I am still bigoted-"

"No no," Zenyatta shakes his head, his hands coming up to cup Genji's face as he says it, "nothing like that. It's just..." he trails off and glances down.

"What?" Genji says.

"You are so... handsome and a bit of a... thrillseeker," Zenyatta says haltingly, his thumbs rubbing Genji's cheeks, "I did not think I would be your type."

Genji feels his cheeks heat up but he ignores it as he laughs and shakes his head.  "Ah yes because you are in no way exciting or exceptional."

Zenyatta sighs and puts his hands in his lap. "I think you are purposely missing my point." 

"No, you are just being quite silly," Genji quips back, reaching out and putting his hand on Zenyatta's face. "I can honestly say that being with you has been one of the greatest adventures of my entire life." 

Zenyatta shakes his head and sighs.  "Be serious, Genji." 

"I am," he smiles, leaning in to bump the top of his helmet gently against the top of Zenyatta's head, "and you know it."

Genji's considering leaning in further, perhaps even bumping his nose again Zenyatta's face when Zenyatta shifts and presses his face gently against Genji's lips.  Genji freezes, his mind racing as he tries to decide what of the many things his body wants to do in this instant to do first.  

Before he can do any of them though, Zenyatta pulls back and sits up straight.  "Sorry," he says, "Did I do it wrong?  Or perhaps I should have asked first.  That was insensitive of me, I'm-"

"You did not do anything even close to wrong," Genji cuts him off, bringing his hands up to cup Zenyatta's face.  "You just surprised me is all.  I would have kissed you earlier but... I wasn't sure if it was something we could mutually enjoy."  He pauses, looking down at his lap and then back up at Zenyatta. "Did you do that just for me or do you genuinely have an interest in kissing?"

"While it is true that I do not have the required components to return a kiss and that I have never kissed anyone before today, it is also true that I can currently feel your warm, strong hand on my face," he says, bringing one of his hand up to cup Genji's, "and I am interested in finding out how your lips would feel as well if you are at all amenable to the idea."

Genji swallows.  While this is definitely the tamest request he's ever gotten from a partner in his entire life, he still can't help but blush at Zenyatta's earnest request.  "Of course," Genji nods.  "Tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"

"I will," Zenyatta nods, leaning forward until they are much closer again.

Genji takes one last deep breath as he looks Zenyatta over before leaning in and pressing his lips to the top of Zenyatta's mouth seam in a very chaste kiss. He holds himself there for a moment, feeling the slight warmth and the contrast between the oxidation and the metal before he pulls back and takes his hands away.  "How was that?" he says, nervous in a way he hasn't been since his first kiss.

"Lovely," Zenyatta says, voice a little breathy despite not needing to breathe.  "Your lips are very warm and," he reaches up as if he wants to run a finger along Genji's lips but lets it fall back to his lap instead, "soft.  I am curious about one thing though; doesn't kissing usually involve more lip movement?"

Genji chuckles.  "It does but I did not want to do too much too fast in case you did not like it."

"That is incredibly considerate of you, Genji," he says leaning in close, "But I would like to try again if that is alright with you.  I will tell you if I want you to stop."

"Right," Genji nods. "In that case I should probably," he pauses as he reaches up and disconnects the visor of his helmet and sets it on the floor, "get this out of the way."

"You have hair!" Zenyatta declares, reaching out to touch it instantly before holding his hand back.  "May I?"

"Yes," Genji nods, "though it is not much to touch or look at at the moment."

Zenyatta runs his fingers through Genji's slightly grown out buzz cut and makes a pleased noise.  "I would have to disagree on both accounts; Your hair is soft like a kitten and you are, as always, one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen."

Genji feels himself begin to blush again. "You keep saying things like that as if I do not look like someone who's had an unfortunate encounter with a lawn mower.  I know I am not easy to look at but I accept it as there are far worse things to be."

Zenyatta pauses rubbing Genji's hair back and forth to shake his head.  "While I will not disagree that external beauty is far from an important feature for a person to have, I am not exaggerating when I say that you have beautiful bone structure and a smile that I can only describe as radiant.  Over the years, I found it incredibly challenging to refrain from telling you just how stunning you are every time I was luck enough to see you face."

Genji's blush deepens.  "You are just saying that because you are in love with me."

"Can it not be true that I both love you and find you very pleasent to look at?" Zenyatta says, bringing up a second hand to touch Genji's cheek.

Genji rolls his eyes.  "Do you want to kiss or do you want to keep arguing about this?"

"I am pretty sure that I can do both," Zenyatta laughs, "since my ability to speak is in no way hindered by you kissing me."

"Except you can't," Genji shakes his head despite the two large hands on it, "because if you insist on attempting to lecture me while I'm kissing you then I will be forced to stop kissing you and argue back."

"Ah, an excellent point," Zenyatta nods, the pads of his fingers still rubbing gently at Genji's scalp.  "In that case, I choose kissing for now," he says, giving Genji's hair one last ruffle before he pulls his hands back.  "I have the rest of our lives to wax poetical about your finer attributes." 

Genji laughs, his heart doing a little flip at the words 'the rest of our lives'.  Despite all that has transpired between the two of them since his earlier confession, a part of him can still barely believe that this is all real.   "That you do," he smiles before leaning in to kiss Zenyatta again.

Zenyatta leans in as well and in an instant, his lips are pressed to slightly warm metal.  He lets his instincts guide him, trying to relax as he attempts to kiss Zenyatta like he would a human partner.  It's a little strange if he's being honest, kissing someone whose face is entirely unmoving but despite the unusual nature of the act, it still feels good and right because it's Zenyatta he's kissing and he can't imagine anyone else in the world who he'd rather be kissing at the moment.  

They've only been kissing for less than a minute when a horrible thought suddenly crosses Genji's mind; what if what is turning out to be a strange but overall enjoyable experience for him is mostly just an awkward one for Zenyatta and he's just being polite? 

He's about to pull away to ask Zenyatta what he thinks so far when Zenyatta's voice box lets out a pleased little moan followed by Genji's name and one of Zenyatta's hands reaches out to grab the back of Genji's neck.  Genji freezes and opens his eyes in surprise.

"Sorry," Zenyatta says, pulling away slightly from Genji, "Did I startle you?" He seems to suddenly remember he's still gripping the back of Genji's neck and lets go. "I should have asked before I just grabbed you like that.  I just got very," he glances down and his orbs jitter, "excited."

"You are fine," Genji says, leaning in to peck Zenyatta.  "While you did surprise me, I was mostly glad to hear and feel that you are enjoying yourself as well."

"Oh good!" Zenyatta says, his orbs bouncing happily. "Because I am, very much."  He reaches out and puts a hand on Genji's cheek before running his thumb along Genji's bottom lip.

Genji shudders.

"Would I be right in assuming you want to me continue reacting freely to your kissing then?"

"Only if you want to but yes of course," Genji smiles.  "I mean, you know that kissing isn't generally a one-sided activity so any way you would like to participate sounds great to me."

"Where am I allowed to touch you?" Zenyatta says, glancing down and then back up,  "Just so that I know in advance."

"Anywhere you want," Genji says a bit too quickly and then blushes.  "I will tell you if you've stepped over a line but I do not foresee that happening." He chuckles.

"In that case then," Zenyatta says, reaching out and pulling Genji on top of him before bumping his face gently against Genji's lips, "please continue."

Genji can't help but smile as he kisses Zenyatta back, quickly falling into a steady rhythm as Zenyatta runs his hands up and down the the length of Genji's back.  He finds that now that Zenyatta is participating, making little noises and grasping at Genji at varying intervals, most of the strange edge falls away and Genji is able to lose himself to the simple sensation of having Zenyatta warm, close and happy.

"I love you so much," Genji mumbles out between kisses, "you know that right?"

"I do," Zenyatta says with a breathy chuckle, "but I can not say I don't like hearing it again all the same."

"Well good," Genji laughs, "because I get the feeling you're going to be hearing that a lot in the foreseeable future."

"Truly I am blessed," Zenyatta says, bringing a hand up to run along Genji's cheek.

Genji thinks back on their long association, on every horrible and wonderful thing that had brought them together and then made them close over the years and smiles. "As am I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah the precious babes are finally together (yay!) but our story is not quite done. Next chapter should be mostly talking and smut! And then I think I have one more planned chapter for sure and then a sequel involving Genji and Zenyatta going on a nice date (if anyone is interested in that idea orz). Anyway, thank you to every single one of you who have commented on or kudos this fic so far. It means the world to me <3 As always, feel free to swing by [my tumblr ](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) and chat about genyatta and their beautiful love! I'm hoping the next chapter will be up in two weeks but we shall see.


	10. Slow and Steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji and Zenyatta decide to take their new relationship slow. They fail miserably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I ended up getting accepted into the [Genyatta Zine](http://genyattazine.tumblr.com/) and writing a really great piece where Genji and Zenyatta go to Hanamura that happens chronologically a bit down the line from this story. I will be posting that over here once people start getting their zines so it might be a bit.  
> On a completely unrelated note, if you are uncomfortable with sex and discussions of sex and sex-related things, you may want to skip this chapter as it features all those things.

Genji and Zenyatta have been tangled together on the floor for nearly ten minutes, Zenyatta's hands running up and down Genji's back as Genji kisses him when Zenyatta suddenly lets out a distinct "Oh" noise amongst the other more erotic noises he's been making.

"What is it?" Genji says, pulling his face away and looking down at Zenyatta, trying to ignore the self conscious little voice that eagerly reminds him just how wrecked he must look at this moment.  "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Zenyatta shakes his head.  "Everything you have been doing has been," he pauses as he grasps the small of Genji's back, "truly wonderful."

Genji pushes his hips down without meaning to and then laughs, slightly embarrassed with his response.  "I am very glad to hear that," he chuckles and then pecks Zenyatta on the faceplate.  "In that case, is something else on your mind?"

"Oh," he says, "I simply think I may have determined why you ran away when we were sparring earlier."

"Because I was embarrassed about my not actually unrequited love for you?" Genji smiles, "I thought I'd made that pretty clear earlier."

Zenyatta chuckles, "Yes, that you did.  I just think the cause was something a little more… specific to the positions we were in at that moment."  He reaches for Genji's ass, cupping it gently and Genji grinds downwards and then blushes.  "Is it possible that you ran away earlier because you were aroused?"

Genji's blush darkens in an instant.  "I uh-" he starts to say, his brain completely unclear on what's the right thing to say in this situation.  It is true that he was aroused before (and still is to this very moment) but he is not sure if it is something he wants to pursue yet, let alone if it is something that interests Zenyatta in the slightest. "It's… well-"

Zenyatta reaches up and sets a hand on his cheek.  "Oh Genji, I did not mean to put you on the spot like that.  I was simply asking because I wanted to double check my hypothesis. The last thing I want to do is make you feel pressured in any way.  While I can not say I would be," he pauses and tilts his chin down before glancing back up, "uninterested in attempting more sexual forms of intimacy with you if you were comfortable and interested in doing them, know that if you have no interest in sex, that is perfectly fine as well."  Zenyatta tilts his head and looks Genji directly in the eyes.  "Just this, having you in my life and seeing your smile everyday is more than enough."

"Zen," Genji says, closing his eyes and pushing his forehead against Zenyatta's, "You are too good sometimes, you know that right?"

"I only say that because I truly mean it.  You are far more important to me than any act we could possibly do together."

"I know," Genji rubs his nose against Zenyatta's faceplate and then kisses him gently.  "I feel the same way to be honest.  That said though, my earlier hesitance was not because I have no interest in sex.  It is just," he pauses and takes a deep breath, "complicated really.  It's been a very long time for me and I despite my past, I actually have no previous experiences with any omnics so I might be just a bit… nervous."

Zenyatta runs his thumb along Genji's cheek and nods.  "Of course, there is no need for us to rush into this just because we are both interested.  We have all the time in the world."

"Right," Genji says, "no rush at all."  He looks down at Zenyatta and smiles, a slight sense of ease about this mostly forgotten part of himself settling over him.  They will figure this out together, just as they have many things in the past.  There is nothing to worry about.

He's just about to start kissing Zenyatta again when a thought crosses his mind and he pauses, his curiosity suddenly peaked.  "Just for future reference, how exactly would I," he pauses, considering a few different words before settling on, "make love to you, you know, when we feel ready?"

Zenyatta goes perfectly still, his hand frozen on the back of Genji's neck and his fans become just slightly more audible than usual before he jerks back to life.  "Well, uh based on my model type, the most delicate sensors in my body are in my hands, specifically the pads of my fingers so-"

"Wait, I've touched your hands many times in the past though.  Have I been committing some horrible omnic social faux pas this whole time and you just haven't told me?"

"Oh no," Zenyatta shakes his head, "while my hands do have the most complex sensors in my entire body, I do not go through my day to day life with them turned up to max.  That would be unpleasant and terribly distracting."

Genji nods.  "Of course, that makes perfect sense," he starts to say until another thought strikes him.  "But what about now?  You've been touching me while we've been kissing so... have you turned them up just slightly?"

Zenyatta's fans whir even louder and then his voicebox stutters for a moment before he says, "I may be collecting more detailed data about how you feel than is strictly necessary but I promise it is not enough to allow me to reach any sort of climax.  That would be a terribly rude thing for me to do without informing you as to what I was doing."

"Oh," Genji blushes, remembering the noises Zenyatta was making earlier in an even more errotic light than before.   "So does that mean you could come from just?" he gestures vaguely at how they are laying at that very moment.

"I am unsure to be honest," Zenyatta says, embarrassment coating every word, "especially since I have never had the chance to test my sensitivity out with a partner before."

"Never?" Genji says, eyes wide.  "Really?"

"Since we left the monastery, there have been many offers from my friends and students alike," he says, glancing away, "but my feelings for you made me very uninteresting in engaging in such encounters, no matter how well intentioned they were."

"Zenyatta," Genji says, setting his hand on Zenyatta's face and turning it back to look at him.  "I am sorry to have made you wait so long.  I truly did not know-"

"There is nothing to apologize for Genji," Zenyatta says, rubbing his face against Genji's hand.  "They are my feelings and it was my choice.  I have little interest in pursuing such intimacies without romantic feelings to accompany them so I do not find my previous abstinence to be a great loss.  Now that we are together and you are interested though..."

"Right," Genji says, grinning ear to ear, "in that case, how about we test your sensitivity out just a bit?" He springs to his feet and then extends a hand to help Zenyatta up.

Zenyatta looks at Genji's hand and then takes it.  "I thought we were going to wait.  Is that no longer the case?"

Genji pulls Zenyatta up and then tight to his chest before extending his neck a little and pecking him on the faceplate.  "I thought we had just decided to take it slow?" he says, backing away and sitting on the bed without letting go of Zenyatta's hand.

Zenyatta sits down beside him on the bed and then cocks his head at him.  "I am not sure I would consider this slow either."

Genji smiles sheepishly and then gingerly lets go of Zenyatta's hand.  "Sorry, I am not trying to push you faster then you are comfortable with-"

"You do not need to worry about me," Zenyatta says warmly.  "It is I who is worried that you are pushing yourself too fast just for my sake."

"I am not, I promise,"  Genji shakes his head.  "I just… now that there is no pressure on how this whole evening is supposed to turn out, I thought it might be fun to fool around for a bit and see how it goes?  You know," he smiles, "feel each other out so to speak."

Zenyatta chuckles slightly and then hovers his upturned hand above Genji's lap  "A fair plan," he says before turning to give Genji a pointed look, "as long as you promise to tell me the instant you are uncomfortable."

"I will," Genji nods, "as long as you do the same."

"Of course," Zenyatta says and then drops his hand into Genji's lap.  "I assume this is what you want."

To someone who does not know Zenyatta as well as Genji does, the tiny hint of nerves that shake his normally perfectly even hands would be imperceptible.  But Genji knows him very well, has seen his calm facade stutter for just an instant in the face of great tragedy or horrible strief.  He knows this is different, that it's just nerves and not reaction to a horrible thing but still, the reminder of just how strongly Zenyatta feels for him makes his artificial heart clench in his chest.

"I love you," Genji says, looking at Zenyatta and smiling.

"I love you too, Genji," he says, voice warm and Genji sees his shoulders relax just the tiniest bit.

"Are you going to turn your sensitivity up?" Genji asks, giving Zenyatta's hands a thoughtful look.

"I will," Zenyatta shakes his head, "once you start actually doing something.  I need to calibrate it precisely or-"

Genji reaches down and runs one finger gently down Zenyatta's index finger and Zenyatta moans.  "Or what?" he says.

Zenyatta lets out a little sigh as he looks at Genji.  "Or it could be either incredibly unpleasant or not enough stimuli to be pleasurable.  This is not an exact science."

"Oh makes sense," Genji nods and pulls his finger away.  "Was that too much then?"

"No," Zenyatta shakes his head, "you just surprised me is all."  He pauses and looks down, "I would like it very much if you would continue actually."

Genji feels where his stomach used to be flip at Zenyatta's earnest request.  At this rate, he's going to be the death of him.  He leans in and pecks Zenyatta on the cheek.  "Of course, just tell me what you like, okay?" he says, reaching out and and dragging his index finger hesitantly down Zenyatta's middle finger.  Genji knows he does not exactly have the proper frame of reference for this but he's definitely teased partners hands in the past as a bit of foreplay and they are just testing the waters so it should be fine.

"I like you touching me," he says, voice wavering slightly, "I like that very much."

"Good," Genji says as he runs his finger back up Zenyatta's ring finger, "a little non specific but still good to hear."

"You have such beautiful hands, Genji," Zenyatta say low, his fans just slightly more audible them normal.

"As do you," Genji says, continuing his slow, winding path down Zenyatta's ring finger and then up his pinky finger.

Zenyatta ignores him though, clearly very focused on his original topic as he keeps talking.  "They are so strong, able to tear into a tank like it is noth-," Zenyatta lets out a little moan as Genji reaches the tip of his pinky and then says, "and yet so tender and gentle with those you care about."

Genji feels himself begin to blush, the combination of Zenyatta's words and his little aroused noises turning him on even more than before as he methodically caresses his way across Zenyatta's left hand.

"They are just like you, my love," he says, his hand twitching as Genji reaches the intersection of two fingers.  "Have I ever told you that hands often make excellent metaphors for their owners?"

"Yes many times," Genji laughs as he lifts Zenyatta's hand up with his free hand before continuing his route with the other.  "But is now really a good time to discuss such things? Are you not perhaps a bit… distracted?"

"Distracted? No," Zenyatta says, voice hitched with artificial breath, "I am hyperfocused on you at the moment.  On how much I love you, on how beautiful you are, on how good it feels to have you touching me, every miniscule change of pressure as you drag your fingers along mine a sumptuous delight."

"I am glad you are enjoying yourself," Genji says, looking Zenyatta's hand over as he considers what to do next.

"I am very mu-" Zenyatta cuts himself off with a loud moan as Genji lifts Zenyatta's hand to his mouth and licks the tip of his index finger. Zenyatta's fans whir even louder as he sputters out, "Oh stop please."

In an instant, Genji sets Zenyatta's hand down.  "Of course," he nods.  "Do you want to stop entirely or just for me to stop doing that?"

Zenyatta's hands shivers in Genji's lap as he turns to look at him.  "What you just did was amazing, Genji," he says, voice warm and wrecked.  "I just needed you to stop for the moment because if you had continued, things would have stopped being in the realm of fooling around very rapidly."

Genji reaches for Zenyatta's hand.  "I am okay with that-"

"Well I am not," Zenyatta says, pulling his hand away.  "I do not want to continue if this is going to be a purely one-sided venture.  While I am enjoying be pampered by you very much, I would love to have a chance to lavish you with similar amounts of attention or perhaps even have us attempt to pleasure each other simultaneously if you are comfortable with that idea."

Genji looks down at his lap and sighs. The decision should be easy; he's in love, eager to have Zenyatta touch him in anyway he wants and more turned on than he's been in years but still there is a tiny lingering anxiety that catches his words in his throat.  The problem is, despite his growing acceptance and comfort with his current body, he is still a bit uneasy about his prosthetic dick.  He's used it from time to time to get off and while it works very well, his brain can't stop reminding him how things felt before and how it is not so much a part of him as an attachment, something made for him but not quite "him" yet.  The easy choice would be to turn Zenyatta down but that only puts the problem off for a future day and he's already had a lot of experience with how badly that can go so he takes a deep breath and makes the hard choice.  "I am interested in having you tease me," he says, turning to look at Zenyatta with a small nervous smile, "but I am also a bit anxious about one thing in particular so I think it is important that I talk to you about it rather than pretend I am perfectly fine."

"Of course, Genji," Zenyatta nods and reaches over with his right hand to grab Genji's, "I am listening."

Genji squeezes Zenyatta's hand and notes that he does not shudder at the contact.   _He must be able to alter his hand's sensitivity separately_ , he thinks before refocusing on the topic at hand.  "This body was made to be a weapon as you know and due to that, features such as being sexually functional were not a part of the original design.  At the time, I did not care as the idea of having sex in this body was repulsive to me but in spite of my insistence that I was uninterested in fixing that problem, Dr. Ziegler eventually made me a rather advanced prosthesis so that I could 'return to my normal life'," he says, making finger quotes around the phrase, "or something like that."  He sighs.  "It was well intentioned but at the time, I found it upsetting, just more proof that I was no longer human and never would be again."  Zenyatta squeezes Genji's hand and Genji squeezes back.  "I no longer feel that way of course as you well know but due to the uhh, disconnected nature of the prosthesis and the lack of use it has received so far, I am still not one hundred percent comfortable with it."

"Then we do not need to use it," Zenyatta says, "it can be that simple if you want it to be."

"I knew you would understand but I do not want to not try just because my," he takes a deep breath, "dick is still a bit strange to me.  I simply wanted to inform you of my discomfort so that you would understand why I may appear nervous or ask you to slow down or stop seemingly for no reason."

Zenyatta squeezes Genji hand before pulling his hand away and bringing it up to Genji's face.  "While I did not need to know your reasons to take your requests seriously, I am honored that you were willing to confide in me on such a personal topic."

Genji pushes his face into Zenyatta's hand and looks into his optical sensors.  "You are one of the most trustworthy people I know and also my boyfriend so it seemed to me to be an important fact to share."

"Boyfriend now is it?" Zenyatta says, tone amused.

"Or partner maybe?" Genji shrugs, "One of those two seems appropriate given all that has transpired between us this afternoon."

"I agree, my love," he says, thumb stroking Genji's cheek, "we will have to try different titles out and see what feels most correct for both of us.  But back to what we were discussing before, since you are insistent about attempting things on this front, how would you like to proceed?"

Genji takes a deep breath and then sighs.  "I should probably go get it out of my bag for starters."

"Indeed," Zenyatta says, taking his hand off Genji's face, "a physically small but emotionally large step down this difficult path."

"Right," Genji smiles at Zenyatta and then gets off the bed, heading over to where the majority of his belonging are still stuffed into his duffle bag on the floor.  He kneels down and after a minute of digging, finds the white cardboard box that contains the prosthetic.  He pulls it out and then returns to sit beside Zenyatta, the box resting uneasily on his lap.

"Ahh," Zenyatta says, "so that is what has been in that box this whole time.  I had always wondered but it was not my place to ask about something so private."  He peers down at the box and then back up at Genji.  "May I see what is inside, please?"

Genji sits up straighter and then chuckles nervously.  "Of course," he says, futzing with the lid for a second before getting it open and turning it towards Zenyatta, "though it is not a lot to look at-"

"It appears to be a very sophisticated piece," Zenyatta says, as he stares at the purple-grey flaccid prosthesis sitting in the box.  "I assume it capable of receiving information from your body and reacting based on that?"

"Yes," Genji nods, "how do you know so much about sexual prostheses?"

"I have a friend in Nubani who runs an omnic friendly sex shop and through her I have learned much, much more then I strictly needed to know about sex toys at the time."

"I see," Genji chuckles, "You do make the weirdest friends, don't you?"

"Yes and wonderful too but let us not stray too far from the topic at hand." He tilts his head as he looks at Genji, "How shall we proceed?"

"I am unsure to be honest," Genji glances down at Zenyatta's lap, making sure to not catch the box in the periphery of his vision even.  "It would probably be most fair for me to just attach it and let you have a chance to tease me for a bit…"  

"If you want to try something else, we could kiss and fool around a bit more and see if that helps you relax?"

Genji smiles slightly and looks up at Zenyatta.  "I think that would help a lot actually," Zenyatta starts to lean in and Genji adds, "as long as you think it will not push you further then you are comfortable with."

Zenyatta shakes his head and pushes his faceplate gently against Genji's lips, the feeling of smooth, warm metal making Genji's stomach flip just a little.  

"I will just turn down the sensitivity on my hand for a bit to make sure.  Do not worry, my love," Zenyatta says, his face still pressed against Genji's.

Genji tries to just start kissing Zenyatta but the ridiculousness of the situation gets to him and breaks away from Zenyatta to laugh, full and warm.

"Did I do something absurd on accident?" Zenyatta says, tilting his head as he looks at Genji.

"Not really," Genji shakes his head as he chuckles, "you are just too cute sometimes is all."  He tosses the box at the nightstand beside the bed before wrapping his arms around Zenyatta and pulling him on top of himself.  Zenyatta lets out a startled little noise and then starts to laugh himself as Genji places eager kisses on his face.

Within a few minutes, they easily slide back into their earlier rhythm, with Genji doing all of the actually kissing and Zenyatta making a series of errotic noises as he touches as much of Genji as he can.  And though Zenyatta is not able to reach as much of Genji as he was before, he still seems to be having an enjoyable time running his sensitive hand down what little he can reach, especially once he realizes that due to the way Genji is lying, he can reach his ass.  Genji lets out an undignified moan as Zenyatta first reaches his butt and before he knows it, he's making abortive little thrust as if to grind his non-existent dick against Zenyatta's crotch.

"Sorry," he says after the third time he does it, embarrassed and out of breath.

"You are not bothering me in anyway by doing that," Zenyatta says, cupping Genji's cheek with his free hand, "but we can stop if you are uncomfortable with how things are going."

"Actually," Genji says, biting his lower lip and looking away, "I think I might want to try using the prosthesis for a bit and see how it goes."

"Oh," Zenyatta says, "then I shall get out of the way temporarily."  He lets go of both of Genji's cheeks and then props himself up until he is sitting between his thighs.

Genji gives him one last nervous look before he grabs his dick out of the box with one hand while opening the connecting port on his groin with the other.  He glances down as he tries to line the base up with the port, cursing a little as it wobbles in his hand.  After a few missed attempts though, his dick clicks into place and immediately expands to full erectness, making Genji painfully aware of both how aroused he is and it's presence.  He blinks and lets out a little sigh as his brain rapidly adjusts to the sudden addition of a new appendage; the marvels of modern technology at work.

"Are you okay?  Is that how it is suppose to work?" Zenyatta says after a minute, looking from Genji's dick to Genji's face and then back again.

"I am okay," Genji nods, "though perhaps next time we do this I should not allow myself to get so aroused before equipping it as that was a lot to take in at once."

"Ahhhh," Zenyatta says, still looking around nervously, "I will keep that in mind for future ventures."  An awkward silence falls for a minute as Zenyatta's hands twitch in his lap before he finally says, "Do you want me to touch you now?  Or perhaps you would rather-"

"I would like your hands on me very much," Genji cuts him off, eagerness finally starting to conquer his nerves.

"Alright," Zenyatta nods, reaching out with a single finger and then tentatively running it from base to tip.

Genji lets out a hiss as his body reminds himself that despite things not feeling quite the same as in the past, this particular piece of him is just as sensitive as ever; the touch of the cool, smooth metal of Zenyatta's hands so much better than any of his own recent attempts.

"Was that too much?" Zenyatta says, pulling his finger away, "I am attempting to be gentle but perhaps it was not gentle enough considering your current state."

"What you just did felt wonderful, Zen," Genji smiles.  "I am just unaccustomed to," he gestures between the two of them, "all of this to be honest so you will need to continue to be a bit careful with me."

Zenyatta reaches up and rubs his thumb on Genji's cheek.  "It will be my pleasure."

Genji shudders, Zenyatta's earnest words nearly as arousing as his touches.  

Zenyatta looks him in the eyes one last time before turning his attention purely to the prosthetic, taking the hand he had on Genji's cheek and reaching for his dick.  He pauses right before he touches it though, asking, "One finger or two?"

"Two, I think, just please touch me however-"

Zenyatta cuts him off as presses two fingers up the length of his cock, pushing it gently to be flush against his stomach.  

Genji moans and then cuts himself off as Zenyatta starts to drag his fingers back down the other way.  "Right there," Genji gasps, "right under the head, please."  Zenyatta doubles back and rubs a small circle in the looser skin and Genji groans.  "That is so good, Zenyatta, fuck."

"I think it would be accurate to describe our actions as such at this point, yes," Zenyatta chuckles.

Genji laughs in spite of himself and the fact that Zenyatta is still rubbing little circles into his cock.  "Are you- okay with that?" he says, breath hitched by both his arousal and his laughter.

"Yes, of course, as long as you are ready for us to go this far than I am as well."

"Okay," Genji nods, a brilliant idea suddenly crossing his mind, "in that case, you should give me your fingers."

Zenyatta looks at his free hand and then back at Genji.  "Are you sure?"

"Very," Genji licks his lips, moaning as Zenyatta hits the sweet spot again.

"Just let me adjust my position then," Zenyatta says, taking his hand away from Genji's dick as he climbs out from between his thighs.

Genji mourns the loss of Zenyatta's touch but instinctively brings his thighs together when Zenyatta nudges them before climbing basically into his lap.  "I approve of this change already," Genji says, stretching his neck up slightly to kiss Zenyatta on the faceplate.

"I thought you might," Zenyatta says, smile audible in his tone as he looks Genji over.  "How would you like to me to touch you now?"

"I want your fingers, maybe in my mouth but I can start slower if that is what you want."

Zenyatta lets out a deep, pleased sounding hum. "I... think that sounds incredibly enjoyable for me but what do you want me to keep doing to you?"

"Oh," Genji laughs, mild embarrassment hitting him as he realizes that he'd missed the point of Zenyatta's question.  He brushes the feeling aside though as he tries to focus on what exactly he'd like Zenyatta to be doing to him.  Touching him is the obvious answer but touching him how?  He looks down at Zenyatta's large, graceful hands and an idea strikes him, making him groan from just the thought of it.  "Do you think you could maybe wrap your hand around my… dick and like work it up and down?"

"Yes," Zenyatta chuckles, "I would love to give you a handjob, Genji."  Zenyatta reaches down and carefully wraps his fingers around Genji's cock as Genji glances down, watching as nearly every inch but the head disappears into Zenyatta's closed hand.

Genji hisses at the contact, firm and slightly cool and exactly what he needs.  "Has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful hands?" he chuckles, breath hitched.

"Only this one incredibly handsome man," Zenyatta laughs, "perhaps you have met him?"

Genji is just starting to laugh when Zenyatta starts moving his hand and Genji gasps, laugh entirely lost.

"Do you find this enjoyable?" Zenyatta says as he glides his hand slowly up and then back down.

"Very much," Genji nods, reveling at how he can feel each finger as it slides past the head of his cock.  "Have you-" he pauses to moan, "turned up both your hands' sensors yet?"

Zenyatta shudders as the head of Genji's cock slips out the top of his grasp.  "I am starting to.  You feel amazing, my love. So firm and-" he gasps, cutting himself off.

"Give me your other hand then," Genji says, voice low and wrecked as he holds out his own hand.

Zenyatta nods, his one hand still working Genji's cock as he offers his other hand up to Genji, who instantly brings it to his mouth and begins sucking on the first digit.  Zenyatta throws his head back and moans as his fans begin to whir louder. Genji feels the noise go right to his cock and takes another digit in, making sure to pay particular attention to the pads with his tongue as he goes.

"Genji," Zenyatta says, tightening his grip on Genji's cock, "your mouth, it's so warm."

Genji groans around Zenyatta's fingers and then pulls them out for a second.  "Do you think you could go a bit- faster?"

"Of course," Zenyatta nods, increasing his pace, "just don't stop sucking on my fingers."

Genji lets out a pathetic noise and then slides two of Zenyatta's fingers into his mouth, making sure to make eye contact with him as he does.

"Genji," Zenyatta moans, "you are so beautiful, my love.  The look in your eyes and-" he gasps as Genji slowly pulls Zenyatta's fingers out of his mouth, "the way your lips look wrapped around my fingers."

Genji feels himself getting close, the combination of the Zenyatta's words and his hand pumping his cock filling his guts with a warm, tight sensation.

"You are so good, Genji," he continues to babble as he tightens his grip. "I love you so so much."

And with that, Genji is coming, voice muffled by Zenyatta's fingers and his shoulders venting bouts of steam as all semblance of reasonable thought is momentarily lost to hot, blinding pleasure.

"Are- are you coming right now?" Zenyatta asks, still working Genji's dick.  "Do you want me to keep going?"

Genji nods vigorously and then sucks on Zenyatta's fingers harder, reveling in the noise Zenyatta makes when he takes in a third finger.

"Genji, I'm going to-" Zenyatta says suddenly, his hands seizing up and tightening their grip as he lets out a long groan. Genji yelps at the suddenly increased pressure on his already sensitive cock and a second later, sighs as Zenyatta's hands relax and go limp. Genji starts to slip Zenyatta's finger out of his mouth to ask if he is alright when Zenyatta's voice box stutters over another loud moan and then his head sags as the lights on his head all flickering off and then back on again.  

"Zenyatta!" Genji says, setting Zenyatta's spit slicked hand down to cup both sides of his face.

Zenyatta's head snaps to attention, his optical sensors trained on Genji as his hands return to gently grasping Genji's cock.  "Yes, Genji?  Is there something wrong?"

Genji sighs in relief that Zenyatta is at least still functional enough to respond.  "Are you okay?  You just, uh, appeared to freeze up so I was worried that perhaps we had overdone it."

"I am perfectly fine, Genji," he says, tone breathy.  "In fact, at the moment I would say I am far better than fine because I am looking at one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen in my entire life."

Genji blushes despite how silly that is with Zenyatta's hand still wrapped around his slowly softening cock.  "So you are are trying to tell me that that was perfectly normal for you?  Just an orgasm like any other?"

"Oh no," Zenyatta shakes his head, "that was a much more powerful orgasm that any I have ever been able to coax out on my own.  I have never been so stimulated in my life."  He wipes his spit coated hand on the bed and then sets his hand on Genji's cheek.  "That said though, my reaction was not so different than normal so I am sorry if I frightened you.  I did not think of what it might look like from an outsider's perspective."

Genji lets out a big sigh, his shoulders relaxing as his anxiety starts to unspool.  "It is okay, I am just glad that you are truly unharmed."

Zenyatta leans in to press their foreheads together, his hand tightening around Genji's mostly flaccid cock.  Genji lets go of Zenyatta's face and hisses at the renewed pressure while Zenyatta, suddenly aware of what he's doing, lets go.

"I am sorry again," Zenyatta sighs.  "It seems I am still a bit distracted even in the aftermath."

"Do not worry," Genji closes the small gap between them to kiss him on the faceplate.  "I am simply very happy that things turned out as well as they did."

"Oh, so this did end up being an enjoyable experience for you than?" Zenyatta says, just a hint of nerves making his voice waver.  "We did not move too fast and you came in a way that you find satisfactory?"

"Oh very much so," Genji says, resting his cheek on Zenyatta's shoulder as he pulls him closer.  "Everything you did was perfect."

"I am so glad to hear it," Zenyatta says, wrapping his own arms around Genji's back.  "So very glad indeed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: So notzenyatta on tumblr made [some lovely art](http://notzenyatta.tumblr.com/post/162297612386/a-very-messy-scene-from-the-fic-something-about) of a scene from this chapter (the pieces is technically sfw though just fyi) and I wanted to share it with you all because it's beautiful really!
> 
> But yeah one to two more chapters before I will be moving on to this story's sequel, featuring cute Genyatta dates and relationship growth. Thank you to each and every one of you who commented and kudosed this story or came by to say "Hi" on my tumblr as it means the world to me. On a tumblr-related note, I'm going to start taking short propts and holding voting for bonus stories and you can check out more details about that on [my tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/). I am also going to start trying to use [twitter](https://twitter.com/knacc4nerdiness) as a place where you all can conveniently check for updates on my stuff other than on here so let's see how that goes :)

**Author's Note:**

> Art Round Up!  
> As well as linking all the art on the chapter it's related too, I thought it would be a good idea to make a round up section right here at the end so you all have a chance to see these wonderful pieces!
> 
> Camrazstuff's [super cute comic](http://camrazstuff.tumblr.com/post/156048234851/hey-so-all-of-u-should-go-read-knaccfornerdiness) based on the final scene of Chapter 3  
> Notzenyatta's [lovely piece](http://notzenyatta.tumblr.com/post/162297612386/a-very-messy-scene-from-the-fic-something-about) from near the end of Chapter 10 (sfw just fyi)
> 
> Thank you so much to both of them for their amazing work! And if any of you decide to make fanart of my story, just make sure to message me on [tumblr](https://knaccfornerdiness.tumblr.com/) about it! I want to see it all!


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